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Showing posts from December, 2021

Top 5 BEST THINGS About Monday Night RAW In 2021.

  "Monday Night RAW sucked this year," says someone with actual taste in anything really. 2021 may be the year of CM Punk's return to in-ring action but the red brand has some of those like………………………… Eva Marie anyone? With that being said. Let's get into the good so here are the top 5 BEST things about Monday Night RAW In 2021. Watching Podcasts Starring A White Dude That Rants.  I love when a white dude takes a piece of entertainment way too seriously. It just proves that they love this business.  So much in fact, that they would make sexist and racist comments towards performers that had nothing to do with the creative process. I also love how they call fellow pundits a shill for their opinions.  The word "subjective" got nothing on the folks that routinely talk about how they've been a fan for longer than your dad's jacket I guess. They also love comparing WWE to AEW which makes sense considering the full abbreviation of AEW is All Elite Whites.  ...

THE Coherent AEW Take: YOU KNOW IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BOOM!

 I was about to talk about this week's AEW line of shows, were as mid as any Flo Rida song but then…………..YOU KNOW IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BOOM!  The Elite brand's flagship show literally made the save like the "babyface shows up to rescue their partner from a brawl" cliche.  Rampage.    Highlights.  Well, there is none as this week's show was pretty darn skippable. It was "multi-person matches with babyfaces making the save post-match".  Some Other Things That Happened.  Dan Lambert continues to be as annoying as an anti-smark on Reddit - This is the only time where I'm cheering for the white saviour, Cody Rhodes. Oh, and Sammy Guevara made the save for Rhodes against Lambert and his lackeys. The Elite guys lost to Orange Cassidy, Best Friends And Rocky Romero - That brainbuster into a double superkick from Cole and the Young Bucks was cool.  Tay Conti defeated Penelope Ford - Could've lasted a tiny bit longer but it was a decent encounter....

WWE Smackdown 17/12/21 | A Coherent Review.

Another week, another meh episode of Smackdown although the ending was pretty eye-opening.  Images via WWE.com   The Viking Raiders vs Jinder Mahal And Shanky.  After a backstage segment that included The Usos roasting Xavier Woods' kingship, the blue brand really started the show with a match (not this one) which is a rare thing to see on main roster television. And the match wasn't bad at all.  The Viking Raider defeated the team of Jinder and Shanky with a splash from Ivor. Does everyone want a Happy Corbin segment? Well, no and Drew McIntyre agrees as he took out Corbin and Madcap Moss to retrieve his sword which sounds like a bad King Arthur comedy flick or something.  Naomi Wants A Match With Sonya Deville.  Naomi is upset at how Sonya Deville acted like a Susan over the past few months so the glow queen challenged the actual manager to a match at Day 1 and Sonya was like, "Ahhhh, no".  Naomi then had a match with Shayna Baszler and within minute...

THE Coherent AEW Take: I Ain't Tellin' You No Lie, The Hook Brings You Back

PAGE AND BRYAN! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK! PAGE AND BRYAN! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK!  That's it. That's the intro.  Rampage.   Highlights.  HOOOOOOOOK!  I mean, I gotta support the man himself named Hook, DUHHH!  What can I say, I like a man that is built different, quick, agile and hard……..in professional wrestling, of course.  Suffice to say, Hook does something that Kalya Braxton doesn't and that is, making all biracials proud.  FTR vs Lucha Brothers for the AEW world tag team championship Two of the best tag teams I've ever witnessed as a wrestling fan (yes, they're THAT darn good) battling it out in an opening match so banging, not even your Beats headphone can replicate it, ya feel me?  The Lucha Brothers get to walk out of this episode of Rampage still as the reigning world tag champs.  Some Other Things That Happened.  Adam Cole defeated Wheeler Yuta - Adam Cole appreciation comment.  Dynamite.  Highlights.  Hangman Page...

WWE RAW 13/12/21 | A Coherent Review.

Another week, another watered down and downright mid-episode of Monday Night RAW. The show once again, did bring the yawn. A LOT of it, in fact.  Images via WWE.com   Bobby Lashley Wants A Title Opportunity.  The Bob of all Lashleys is added into the WWE championship title picture if he defeats Kevin Owens, Seth Rollins and my man, Big Eoooo Wangston which he eventually did.  Like pretty much all of the white dudes with podcast reviews of Monday Night RAW longer than an AEW Rampage episode, I'm not a fan of the champion taking a pin for the sake of adding someone into a title match.  The word that comes to mind with that booking decision is "uninspiring".  Otis vs Riddle.  In a backstage segment before this match took place, Randall wasn't a fan of Riddle's idea of wearing a light brown blazer with the WWE logo but he did tell Riddle that if he defeats Otis then Randall wouldn't mind Riddle wearing that blazer in the near future. I'm not gonna lie, I d...

The 5 News Week Look-Back: Remember When Calvin Cambridge Wanted to WRESTLE!?

Another year, another look back at a year that started out like an anime filler arc and then suddenly, the month August came and we all know what happened from there.  While yes, I didn't get to rebrand this weekly news series as "THE 5 NEWS WEEK: UNCORKED"  or something which would've been a great thing if I pretended to have snitches throughout my "journalistic career". It was another year of dissecting the industry that gave you the Yeti, professional wrestling.  Remember The Time Calvin Cambridge Wanted To WRESTLE!?  Yes, he did and guess what, you literally forgot about that until I mentioned it, am I right?  According to the man behind his yippy yo yippy yay, his aim is to focus on the wrestling business as a performer after his last album drops. WWE Hall Of Famer and a real somon**ga, Rikishi, mentioned in an interview with Chris Van Vliet that Shad Moss came over to his wrestling school to train.  What makes the news particularly suspicious is that...

WWE Smackdown 10/12/21 | A Coherent Review.

Yet another meaningless episode of Smackdown. That’s it. That’s the intro.  Images via WWE.com   Brook Laser Beam Still Beats Up Arab Alan Moore.  I'm just going to have my unfunny but insightful headlines describe wrestling segments huh (at the very least, I'm hoping this made Fightful's Jeremy Lambert proud)?  All lame banter aside, this build for the universal championship is an eh so far. At least the segment featured hot nurses.  Shinsuke Nakamura And Rick Boogs vs Los Lotharios.  My man, Shinsuke Nakamura might as well be called the Intercontinental championship belt collector because he hasn't done jack with it.  The title has been defended so little, Brock Lesnar would be jealous due to the fact that he's been aiming at the wrong championship the whole damn time!  I was hoping for a Los Lotharios win but that didn't happen as Shinsuke pinned Humberto Carrillo after delivering the Kinshasa.  King Xavier Woods has unveiled his new crown...

The 5 News Week: Triple H Possibly LEAVING WWE!?

Hello, my fellow wrestling fans and welcome to the 5 news week. The post where I report 5 major or minor pro wrestling news, rumours and spoilers of the week that I don't have time to do it separately.  This is also the last 5 News Week of the year if you don't count the annual 5 News Week look back which yes, I am working on.  3 and a half years of talking about the wild world that is professional wrestling and I appreciate all 2 of y'all that mess with my coherent reviews, this series and the bi-monthly editorials.  Impact Wrestling's Johnny Swinger Thought Bray Wyatt Was At Bound For Glory!?  During a discussion with Allan ‘Kwee Wee’ Funk’s ‘Get Funk’d’ show (a name so wild, that statement is coming from a guy that calls himself a Playa), the formerly Johnny Parisi mentioned how he thought The weird bushy Floridian, Bray Wyatt, was at this past year's Bound For Glory PPV but then Johnny witnessed the KISS Demon (From Post Wrestling ): "Bro, I didn’t know unt...

WWE Smackdown 3/12/21 | A Coherent Review.

  Another meh episode of Smackdown and this is probably the part where I slap my head and say, “HERE’S WHY!”.  Images via WWE.com   My Man Brook Shagner Told Sami Zayn, "Why Can't You Face Roman Reigns Tonight Instead Of Day One?"  The witty headline above pretty much described the entire opening although it wasn't as in-depth as a Wrestling Inc article or something. Sami Zayn followed through Brick's advice but the former universal champion laid waste on Sami with a good old F5.  That gave the tribal chief the opportunity to nail the spear and the guillotine to quickly retain the blue belt.  Seeing all of this unfold, makes me miss the babyface Sami Zayn I know and love. From that character point of view, it's so depressing to see him in that position.  You could say the same thing about Will Smith right now with Jada.  All bad humour aside, it'll be interesting to see where Paul Heyman's loyalty lie on.  Sasha Banks vs Shayna Baszler. ...

THE Coherent AEW Take: Tell That Redneck That Bryan's Arrogant, You Feel Me?

The Elite brand has once again delivered a solid program this week. I don't have a witty thing to say about it because I am as unfunny as Kalya Braxton's Twitter timeline.  Rampage.    Highlights.  Adam Cole And Bobby Fish vs Orange Cassidy And Wheeler Yuta. A fantastic opener is all I'll say. The team that consists of former Undisputed Era members, wins with a Falcon Arrow to Yuta.  Some Other Things That Happened.  Riho defeated Britt Baker - I guess Britt Baker got DE. FE. ATED.  Daniel Garza lost to Eddie Kingston - Chris Jericho cleaned house as he got rid of 2 point 0 following their beatdown to Kingston. Like all the white saviour movies, the white man saves the day.  Dynamite.  Highlights.  Bryan Danielson vs Alan "5" Angels.  Another awesome Bryan Danielson match?  Bryan's arrogance is what got him to win against Dark Order's own, Alan Angels.  Hangman Page and Bryan Danielson had a verbal back and forth to which...

WWE NXT 2.0 30/11/21 | A Coherent Review.

NXT this week wasn't as bad as last week. It was still kinda average overall but I didn't have a sense of boredom throughout the show.  Images via WWE.com   Kay Lee Ray vs Dakota Kai In A War Games Advantage Ladder Match.  Aka the *Scottish accent* Glasgae vs The kiwi in a solid opening match.  Kay Lee Ray climbed up and grabbed the briefcase to win the War Games advantage.  If I was taking part in the match, I'm hoping the war games advantage contract included me not wrestling and standing there like a battle royal match or something.  Cameron Grimes vs Andre Chase.  This match and what happened after it was meh.  After Grimes' defeat over Andre, Duke Hudson showed Grimes the bald version of the North Carolina native and like all people with hair that isn't receding, it pissed Grimes off.  Msk finally met the shaman at least that's what I've concluded based on the smoke coming out of the room and the bright a** light.  Do I care about t...