And how was the first night of Wrestlemania? It was prettay, prettay, pretty good. By far the best Wrestlemania I’ve ever covered in almost 4 years of doing the “wrestling media” grind.
So, Elliot Moore narrated this year's opening video and it's decent. Eh, at least it's better than whatever the hell Mile 22 was.
The Usos vs Shinsuke Nakamura And Rick Boogs For The SmackDown Tag Team Championship.
A solid way to kick off this year's "Endgame" of WWE storytelling. Rick Boogs' knee gave out after a double fireman's carry attempt (get well soon, Ricky). The match ended with a 1D to *Boog's voice* Shinsuke NAKAMURAAAAAAAAAA!
The household of the tribal chief must be really happy and no, I'm not referring to the Usos' cooking. This division is as dead as the creativity of WWF 1995 so I don't know where the blue tag belt goes from here.
Drew McIntyre vs Happy Corbin.
I wasn't expecting the match to be this decent. Near fall after near is what kept this match alive and surprisingly engaging.
Of course, like Spiderman No Way Home, there's no surprise here because McIntyre defeated Corbin with the claymore to which Drew destroyed the ring with his sword.
Step aside Arthur, there's a new powerful sword in town.
Rey And Dominik Mysterio vs Logan Paul And The Miz.
Aye yo, are we in the golden age of good celeb matches because Logan Paul nailed his performance.
Once again, the celebs maintained their undefeated streak with 50000000000 to probably 2 with Miz hitting the skull-crushing finale to Mysterio and winning this tag team affair.
After the match, we just witnessed a babyface turn as The Miz nailed the skull-crushing finale to Logan Paul.
A turn so sudden, I'll bet Vince Russo would be jealous.
Becky Lynch vs Bianca Belair For THE RAW Women's Championship.
This match ruled harder than the Byzantine empire. Me describing how good this match was, isn't doing it justice so whatever you do, GO WATCH THIS MATCH NOW (I mean, that 450 splash by Belair from the middle!? JES. US.).
However, what I will describe is how the match ended. Belair nailed the KOD to win her second-ever women's title and her first RAW women's championship.
Again, GO WATCH THIS M……...wait, let me do it like this.
GO *clap emoji* WATCH *clap emoji* THIS *clap emoji* MATCH!
Seth Rollins vs An Opponent Of Vinnie Mac's Choosing.
The choice was a good option because it is, in fact, the return of the white savour himself, Cody Rhodes.
The news and speculations about Cody Rhodes signing to WWE were pretty fickle like a typical wrestling fan. "Cody signed with WWE", "Cody didn't sign with WWE and is looking back to AEW".
But holy cheesy macaroni, speaking of GO *clap emoji* WATCH *clap emoji* THIS *clap emoji* MATCH!
Admittedly, the bout did start off slow but it was worth the wait because it picked the blue hell up!
Rhodes defeated Seth Rollins with not one, not two but three crossrhodes which based on Seth's facial expressions, we're possibly going to get a rematch and I don't mind it.
Mike Rome announced the 2022 class of the Hall Of Fame and my man Mark was dressing like he's bringing back the ministry of darkness character. The only thing missing was that theme song.
Charlotte Flair vs Ronda Rousey For The SmackDown Women's Championship.
Those two women had a great match at Survivor Series a few years ago (f**k, it's been that long?). The STUPENDOUS question is, did both performers step up once again?
The answer is a soft yes although the match didn't maintain its pace throughout the second and third half of the encounter.
And much to my surprise, Charlotte Flair retained the championship after some shenanigans between them and the ref.
It'll probably lead to a rematch somewhere but will see what happens next regarding the women's title scene over at the blue brand.
Kevin Owens Calls Out Stone Cold Steve Austin And………………
Out came the rattlesnake and even in front of the hall of famer's face, Kevin Owens still belittles the state of Texas which, in my opinion, is the second babyface turn of the night but to be fair, it is coming from a French Canadian and they're just as bad as dumb white hogs.
So, Owens challenged that guy named Steve to a no holds barred match and Steve was like, "my first match was I'm Dallas, might as well have my last in Dallas".
And, it was official and the match happened and man, Austin is sober after a bunch of beers than I am without drinking a single drop of alcohol in my entire life (eat your suhoor before fasting folks).
For a guy who hasn't wrestled in almost 20 years, this is the best you can get out of the innovator of the 3:16.
Stone Cold won the match with a stunner to which he delivered yet another stunner to Owens and then, later on, Bryon Saxton.
Hopefully, Austin doesn't need to get checked via an X-ray this time around.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Rey and Dominik Mysterio vs Logan Paul and The Miz, both RAW and Smackdown women's championship ruled, MY WHITE SAVOUR IS BACK, BAY BAY! Drew McIntyre and Corbin had a good match (wtf is wrong with me?).
Didn't like: Maybe bring in some different coloured ropes (you know this show is good when I had to make up an excuse to fill this section)?