Another week, another episode of Monday Night RAW aka a 2 hour podcast for an angry bearded white guy.
Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins spoke with Alpha Academy and………..
It led to a stunner from Kevin Owens to Chad Gable
I can't criticize the way Gable says thank you because after all, he's a chad.
The segment followed with a decent tag team match between two former rivals and the Academics.
And like their dating life, the Alphas took an L here.
This is the part where I would be mad at the tag champs getting pinned but those titles, as well as the entire tag division, are so meaningless, I don't have the energy to do so.
T-Bar vs Omos.
T-Bar lost a match and Omos can't wrestle for sh*ts. In other news, the colour of blood is red.
Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley And Liv Morgan vs Becky Lynch, Doudrop And Nikki A.S.H.
Bianca once again proves that she owns all of the EST by leading her team to victory with the KOD on Nikki Ash Ketchum.
Tomasso Ciampa vs Robert Roode.
Two former NXT champions. Yes, Roode actually did something back in the day that isn't teaming with a guy named Dolph.
After Ciampa defeated Roode with the most protected move in all of wrestling, the roll-up, the duo that has a name of a Wild Hogs spinoff, decided to make their claim as the best thing (I've heard of that word, click here if you wanna find out) in WWE.
Ziggler honestly needs a change of scenery so having him appear and be part of a feud on NXT: go crazy on the RGB light edition, is something I would like to see more of.
A mixed tag team match happened between the 24/7 crew and the only thing I could say about this is, Reggie can gooooooo.
Rey And Dominik Mysterio vs Shelton Benjamin And Cedric Alexander.
If I told you several years ago that The Miz would be hyping up Logan Paul like he's Russell Crowe in Gladiator, you'd probably say, "Oh, I could see this happening for real." because that's how much WWE loves developing big-time stars, am I right?
By the way, I'm not calling Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander as the Hurt Business anymore because that team is, to quote Justin Timberlake, dead and gone.
You would think that the Mysterios picked up the victory but nope. They lost via a roll up from Benjamin to Dominik aka the only victory of the year for Shelton.
Nothing screams a build-up to a headline match then by having one of the people participating in said headline match, lose a match. Tale as old as Bernie Sanders.
I ain't mad at it though because I don't care about the entire feud.
RKBRO vs Street Profits.
Hey look, a good tag team match, Playas. The way Montez Ford won the match by landing the frog splash onto Randy's shoulder looked pretty painful so I'm hoping my man is okay.
Vinnie Mac mentors Austin Theory again. Cool.
Edge vs AJ Styles at Mania!? SIGN ME UP!
To use twitch chat terminology, POG! POG! POGO!
If you don't understand the hype, well, I don't know what to tell ya other than it's an easy Wrestlemania main event match
As far as Edge turning back to the dark side, I personally don't hate it. It builds up the tension needed for the overall arc to be somewhat engaging from a narrative perspective.
Speaking of heel turns, Damian Priest is once again, to quote Billie Ellish, a bad guy. The turn stemmed from Priest's US title loss to Finnie Baylord.
WWE tends to turn someone heel if a babyface isn't too interesting as a character and this is a great example of that.
The alternative solution is to make their babyfaces, I don't know, more compelling and interesting. In other words, the shift wasn't necessary.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: The Street Profits vs RKBRO, EDGE VS AJ STYLES AT WRESTLEMANIA LET'S GOOOOOOO!
Didn't like: Damian Priest's heel turn (will see what happens since I'll give this a chance).