Royal Rumble 2022. Sponsored by a Logic song from 9 years ago, you know, before his corny arc.
It's my 4th year reviewing the annual Royal Rumble show and so, a question you may be wondering (you weren't but for the sake of it), how does this PP…….excuse me, premium live event hold up compared to the recent Royal Rumble shows?
It was just kinda there. Other than the opening contest, the program didn't do much for me.
Images via WWE.com
Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins For The Universal Championship.
What a way to kick this PLE (doesn't have a ring to it) with this absolute banging of bangers.
While yes, the bout ended via a DQ due to Roman Reigns still locking on the guillotine, the context of the story being told with Rollins wearing the Shield attire and the way the former universal champion disrespected the current universal champion last night, made a whole lot of sense.
In other words, I thought the entire thing was f**king brilliant storytelling if you ask me.
2022 Women's Royal Rumble Match.
I'm not going to describe every single thing that happened in this match because your favourite white-bearded guys got you covered.
Rather, I'll highlight some of the things that happened in this huge encounter. The first of which being that everyone's favourite entrance, Melina showed up and got eliminated quicker than it takes for me to fill my green tea every morning.
Naomi and Susan Deville's rivalry continued here and it was by far, the best thing they've done with this arc so far with Deville eliminating Cameron that led to Naomi eliminating her.
Ivory wanted to make her statement but Ripley had the right to censor her a** by throwing the former women's champion over the top rope. Ivory's living the dream of all Kevin Samuels' viewers with her promo.
As soon as Ronda Rousey made her WWE return, I knew who was going to win the whole thing. Which she eventually did. You mean to tell me that we saw back to back black women Royal Rumble winners?
Gotta love black women succeeding.
Becky Lynch vs Doudrop For The RAW Women's Championship.
WWE went ahead with the one on one match instead of a 4-way match between Bianca Belair, Liv Morgan, Doudrop and Becky Lynch that I thought would happen. Props, I guess?
Becky walked out of St Louis still the RAW women's champion with a handle slam from the top rope.
Brock Lesnar vs Bobby Lashley For The WWE Championship.
Roman Reigns said, "I never forgot you, Brock". Why did I say that?
Well, during the closing moments of the match, Roman speared Lesnar which was followed by Heyman giving Reigns the WWE title and nailed it on Brock's head.
That gave Bob an opportunity to pin an unconscious Brock to become a 2 time WWE champion.
I smell a match at Wrestlemania (no f**king sh*t, Omar).
Edge And Beth Phoenix vs The Miz And Maryse.
All 2 of you, know how I feel about this rivalry so I'll not repeat the fact that it's a feud based on a 2010 match on a random Smackdown episode.
The match was kinda okay though. The grit couple prevailed in this mixed tag team encounter with a double glam slam.
2022 Men's Royal Rumble Match.
Not gonna lie, this was the most underwhelming Royal Rumble match I've ever seen. I got nothing to say other than 2 time Brook Laser Royal Rumble winner.
Nice seeing Bad Bunny. For real though, Brocky didn't need the Royal Rumble victory for the simple reason that the match at Wrestlemania for the blue belt has already been established based on the WWE championship bout earlier.
I think an AJ Styles win would've been cool since a Styles and Lashley title match is a fresh match-up.
Another Royal Rumble match victory that should've happened is Big E.
A story of him being blindsided with the fatal 5-way match that led to his title loss only to build his momentum up, could've been great too.
This entire encounter felt so meaningless and unnecessary in its execution which cannot be the case since I'm talking about the freaking Royal Rumble match.
Way to go, laser man!
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins, some of the women's Royal Rumble match surprises.
Didn't like: Men's Royal Rumble match.