Since I've taken a few weeks off, Monday Night RAW has actually become more watchable in recent weeks.
It's like watching a decently written redemption arc (I don't want to be "a podcast starring a white dude that rants about WWE" but the show could go back to becoming the Hellmouth of television shows once again).
This was also the 2nd and final night of the WWE draft aka if a domain name generator was a TV segment. And, I'll quickly summarize the final draft:
- Becky Lynch to RAW: Makes sense since Charlotte is on the blue brand.
- The Usos to Smackdown: Paul Heyman is a happy boy after that pick.
- Bob Lashley to RAW: Meh.
- Sasha Banks to Smackdown: The reign of "IT'S BOSS TIME!" continues.
- Seth Rollins to RAW: We're probably going to get another rematch between Rollins and Edge, right?
- King Nakamura with Rick Boogs to Smackdown: Nakamura is skipping RAW once again. Cool.
- Damian Priest to RAW: Please don't draft Sheamus to RAW.
- Sheamus to Smackdown: YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!
- AJ Styles And Omos to RAW: aka a redneck and his big black friend.
- Shayna Baszler to Smackdown: Yay! She's going to eat pins but in a different show!
- Kevin Owens to RAW: Thank God I don't have to see him feuding with Happy Corbin after October 22nd.
- Xia Li to Smackdown: How long until we don't get to see her after a few months or so?
- The Street Profits to RAW: Meh.
- The Viking Raiders to Smackdown: Them vs The Usos? Sign me up!
- Finn Balor to RAW: Balor vs Damian Priest? Balor vs Big E? Balor vs Kevin Owens? Those possibilities should tell you that this was a good decision.
- Karrion Kross to RAW: Finn Balor is like, "NO! NO! NO! NO!"
- Humberto Carrillo And Angel Garza to Smackdown: Here's hoping WWE utilize those guys.
- Alexa Bliss to RAW: Charlotte's lucky that Bliss is on the opposite brand but the voodoo chick is too powerful to obey the draft rules so who knows?
- Cesaro to Smackdown: aka "It's my time to shine" for the 500th time.
- Carmella to RAW: aka more Bianca Belair and Carmella matches.
- Ridge Holland to Smackdown: The big bruf will rule the blue brand if used properly.
- Gable Stevenson to RAW: WHO? better question, WHY?
- Sami Zayn to Smackdown: Dominik isn't on Smackdown which means he's going to lose a lot again.
Now, on with the actual review of the red brand.
Images via WWE.com
Becky Lynch Encounters Bianca Belair And Charlotte Flair.
Becky was glowing about her year and a half return to the red brand and how Charlotte Flair is holding the title that she never lost.
Out came Charlotte and she stated that Becky ain't nothing without her. A diss from Charlotte to Bianca Belair later and that's how the opening segment ended.
Week by week, Becky Lynch's character is turning as generic as a "can they coexist" trope. I'm just not feeling this one, ya know?
Charlotte Flair was Charlotte Flair while Bianca Belair didn't say much here which is what made the scene kinda okay to watch.
Speaking of these two performers, they had a match and it ended with a DQ (thanks to Becky Lynch)aka the closest thing to the "fake death" cliche from the MCU films in the sense that it just doesn't take any risks.
Post-match saw Sasha Banks cleaning house and standing tall in the end. Sasha Banks' drip? Better than Seth Rollins (and no, I'm not saying this because Becky Lynch is there, you a**holes).
Damian Priest vs Jeff Hardy For The United States Championship.
Priest won the match with a crucifix because of course, he did. Hardy then took a beating from the returning Austin Theory.
I see Austin Theory is currently portraying an obnoxious fan in the airport begging for selfies.
Shayna Baszler vs Dana Brooke.
Baszler finally won a match to which she wanted to inflict more damage on Dana Brooke but the damage was avoided thanks to Doudrop. I wouldn't mind a feud between those two competitors.
Humberto Carrillo And Angel Garza vs Mansoor And Mustafa Ali.
A decent match is all I'll say. Carrillo's vicious looking shot to Mustafa Ali is what led to *Vin Diesel's voice* family prevailing in the end.
Big E And Drew McIntyre vs Dolph Ziggler And Robert Roode.
Still refuse to call them dirty dogs because, as I said previously, dirty dogs sounds like a bad Quentin Tarantino flick.
The match was cool, I guess. The good guys won here. Oh, and we're getting a match between Drew and Big E so it should be fun.
Reggie is avoiding R Truth and Akira Tozawa from taking the belt again. Cool.
Rhea Ripley And Nikki A.S.H vs Natalya And Tamina For The WWE Women's Tag Team Championship.
Why this match, again!? The tag team champions retained their titles.
I've pitched the idea for 2 years now but WWE should conduct a women's tag team tournament similar to the format of the Mae Young Classic. Why? Ripley and A.S.H are champions of a division that doesn't exist.
Goldberg took out The Hurt Business' Shelton Benjamin. I'll embed Fightful's Jeremy Lambert tweet here because it describes the segment best.
Goldberg has been threatening murder for months and he got this match in Saudi.
— ‘Point God’ Jeremy Lambert (@jeremylambert88) October 5, 2021
Levels.
The New Day vs Shelton Benjamin And Cedric Alexander.
Can I say that I'm so darn happy that the Hurt Business has reopened its operations?
Yes, they lost the match but I'm smiling that they're reunited.
The Street Profits and the New Day interacted so that's cool, I guess?
A callout from Randy Orton to Omos led to a bit of a brawl between the tag champs, Omos and AJ Styles which finally led to a quick RKO to AJ Styles. Meh.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Shayna Baszler finally got a W, the draft picks were solid for the most part.
Didn't like: Why Ripley and A.S.H vs Natalya And Tamina!?
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