Sorry for not covering AEW for *looks at the archives* Since what it feels like the year 1456 AD.
Enough of the lame jokes and excuses, how did AEW do this week? Other than Wheeler Yuta stealing the show on the latest episode of Rampage, THE elite brand simply didn't deliver elite content. It was just kinda okay.
Rampage.
Highlights.
YUTAAAAAAAAAA!
We're not even in the middle of the month and already, we got a match of the year candidate. Wheeler walked out of this match as a legit main eventer that could possibly compete for the world title which I wouldn't mind.
It was so good, Moxley's mentor, William Regal shook Wheeler's hand out of respect (uh, I'd wash my hands faster than Wally West if I was Regal).
Sammy Guevara Nas Level ETHERED Dan Lambert's Misogyny And Wants That TNT Championship Too.
Based Sammy Guevara.
Oh, and Ethan Page can cut it both in promos and in m…..…………… (bro, it's Ramadan).
Some Other Things That Happened.
Bryan Danielson defeated Trent Baretta - Danielson has more submissions than WWE has with creativity.
Red Velvet won against Willow Nightingale In The Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Round one - First impressions of seeing Willow Nightingale perform? A thumb up.
The guy that lost to some giant named Paul last year, lost here to Shane Strickland - And ya boy Ricky was like, "let's face each other in a tag match, Shane OHHHHH!"
Dynamite.
Highlights.
Ricky Starks And Will Hobbs vs Keith Lee And Shane Strickland.
Speaking of which. This match had so much black excellence, Dr Umar Johnson would be proud. Let's just call it what it is, a fun good old fashioned tag team match, Playas!
Taz's crew aka the POC Posse took home the W thanks to Taz himself getting involved.
Some Other Things That Happened.
CM Punk won against Penta El Zero M - A decent opener is all I'll say
Jurassic Express retained the tag team gold against Bobby Fish and Kyle (or Kylie if you're autocorrect) O'Reilly - O'Reilly was like, "that was a fluke" by hitting the tag belt on Jungle Boy's back. My man legit gave Jungle Boy a back shot bruh.
MJF lost to Captain Shawn Dean via a count-out - That was all thanks to one word *Jack Garland's voice in Stranger's Paradise Final Fantasy Origin* chaos. Specifically, the chaos ensued by Wardlow absolutely wrecking everybody including a bunch of security guards.
Pro wrestling security guards are as effective as the f**king foot clan.
Chris Jericho, Daniel Garcia and Jake Hager defeated the Puerto Rican boys in Eddie Kingston, Santana and Ortiz - Oh my God, another post-match beatdown following a multi-person match? I'm surprised.
Marina Shafir picked up the victory over Skye Blue - Damn, their women's division sure did cooled off its steam they've built last year, huh?
Joe won the ROH Championship and was attacked by Satnam Singh - What on Allah was that ending? I didn't know what confused me, this ending or my entire time watching Everything Everywhere All At Once.
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