That CM Punk return was so noteworthy, it blew this entire episode out of the water. That’s it. That’s the opening statement.
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Edge Wasn't Playing When He Said That He'll Put Seth Into Darkness.
The show started off with the Rated R superstar saying that Rollins has made the guy find his heart when the blood runs black.
In other words, he'll beat the shit out of Rollins at slamming of summer.
Speaking of "the blood runs black", after Seth Rollins gave a speech on how he can't be on Sethy's level, the man that says "drip" more times than a white dude that streams on Twitch, was covered in black liquid following Gangrel's theme song playing in the background.
Edge ain't f**king around. I appreciated the uniqueness of the segment and how it was a tribute to WWE's continuity (which if you've been watching WWE for a longer period of time then you'll know that WWE acknowledging their storytelling cohesion is rare).
Rey Mysterio vs Jey Uso.
I don't know specifically how many times those two guys have wrestled but I know it's a LOT.
Dominik Mysterio tried to help his father win the match but it failed. As a result of the miscommunications, Jey Uso picked up the victory with a splash.
Baron Corbin vs Kevin Owens.
The "too many rematches that nobody cares about" criticism plays itself.
The match ended in a DQ due to a series of punches from Big E who's mad that Corbin stole his Money In The Bank briefcase. But, the big man somehow escaped with the contract.
I smell a match at the pre-show.
Shotzi And Nox vs Natalya And Tamina. Championship Contender's Match.
I hate to repeat myself but the narrative of too many rematches once again, writes itself.
Shotzi and Nox won the match with a roll-up from Shotzi.
Montez Ford vs Otis.
The outfit from Ford is something else. The match was fine. Otis' splash from the middle rope is how he defeated Montez Ford.
It's nice to see a big man actually successfully execute a top/middle rope move because that's been a cliche for God knows how long.
King Shinsuke Nakamura And Rick Boogs vs Apollo Crews And Commander Azzez.
The babyfaces win here.
NEXT!
Bianca Belair defeated Zelina Vega and Carmella with ease before her encounter with Sasha Banks in Las Vegas. Meh.
And the final segment of the episode was John Cena telling Roman Reigns that he'll find ways to demote his a** one, two, three.
Oh, and Reigns announced that if he loses then he leaves WWE which screams "I'm definitely going to win this match". Besides that announcement, Nothing too noteworthy happened.
Here's hoping that SummerSlam is actually, you know, enjoyable.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Edge Gangrel tribute.
Didn't like: Too many darn rematches that I don’t care for.
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