Since this past week's Rampage episode is a go-home show for Revolution (aka an anarchist's favourite word besides the concept of not showering), imma just review Dynamite solely. And how was Dynoomitte!?
To the shock of no one besides that antismark, it was a pretty darn good show.
Inner Circle 2.0
This opening segment went from Chris Jericho and Eddie Kingston respecting each other to turning on Kingston as well as Santana and Ortiz to form an Inner Circle 2.0 with Daniel Garcia, the former Ever-Rise and Jack no Swag.
But what made this segment so special to me wasn't Chris' millionth heel turn but rather Eddie Kingston's promo. The way he tied his dialogue with his article was SO F**KING GOOD!
That man will always be a gem.
Hangman Page defeated Dante Martin For AEW Title To Which…………..
Out came Adam Cole and he basically did the "loss wasn't fair" cliche and challenged him to a 6 man tag team match, playas for next week's episode.
Later in the show, Cole chose his Undisputed Era brothers while Page picked the current tag team champions, The Jurassic Express.
And this is the part where I'm going to put the "should be interesting" line here.
"I Say, Little Bryan And Jon, In An Active Goodwill. Would You Please Come Outside So I Can Play With Your Balls?"
After the team of Jonny Mox and D Bry defeated the team of Anthony Henry and JD Drake, William Regal's dialogue was a good one but it just dragged on as long as the third act of The Batman.
I still enjoyed how William Regal made an impact on both Mox and Danielson's wrestling tenure.
Pac vs Wheeler Yuta.
A decent match for what it was. Pac prevailed with the rings of Saturn.
The Swanton Boyz Are Back!
Matt Hardy wanted to settle the score with Andrade but things went south as El Idolo as well as The Butcher, Blade and Private Party turned on Matt.
And you know how the story goes from here. People came out to save someone only to be blinded which led to someone else coming to the rescue.
What makes this different is that a certain individual made their first appearance.
And it was black Twitter's favourite wrestler, Jeff Hardy.
Jeff didn't just clean the apartment, he cleaned the ENTIRE BUILDING! I was legitimately surprised when the Hardy Boyz's theme song was played but reading the reports, it does make a lot of sense.
It's still surreal to hear that piece of music though.
Wardlow said, "F that MJF kid!"
That headline pretty much described his entire in-ring promo other than the fact that he pulled a Bobby Brown and said: "On Our Own" (I know it's "our" and not "my own" but you get what I'm saying).
Wardlow kept it "simple, stupid" with his promo and I appreciate it since the show kinda dragged on in the first-hour mark.
Jurassic Express vs The Acclaimed For The AEW World Tag Team Championship.
Another decent match and you know what's also decent!? Max Caster's freestyle. I actually didn't hate it this time (I think you need Allah, therapy and Indian food, Omar because that last line was concerning).
The Jungle guys retained the championship with a doomsday device.
Lelya Hirsh vs Thunder Rosa. Winner Faces Britt Baker For The AEW World Women's Championship.
Hirsh brought Rosa to her limit but somehow Thunder prevailed with the fire thunder driver and the title match!? It'll take place in a salad steel cage!
I was pulling for Hirsh to win the match just because it was something new and different but I don't hate this just because it isn't a standard rematch again in the sense that it's a different stipulation this time.
Scorpion Sky Wins The TNT Championship. Finally!
Well, that took a year or so! How did Sammy lose the title!? It was the RIBS, THE RIBS, THE RIBS!
Well, his ribs and not that nasty looking sandwich from McDonald's although that is something WWE would do.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Reminder that both Eddie Kingston and William Regal are so good at the talking thing, Finally, Scorpio Sky is the TNT champion, HARDY BOYZZZZZ!
Didn't like: The pacing of the show was off.