WWE RAW 3/1/22 | A Coherent Review

It's the first RAW review of 2022 and my 4th year continuing the war in professional wrestling bullsh*t which also kicked off my sad and miserable adulthood.

With that being said, this week's episode was not terrible.

Brocky Brock Reunited With His Well-suited Funky Bunch.

The best part? Lesnar wanted us to acknowledge his Viking roots with his beard and hair.

Paul Heyman went over the challengers for the fatal 4 way number one contender's match (aka the OG OG OG match at last night's day 1 show) in the most Paul Heyman way possible in that he praises you then proceeds to sh*t talk about you kinda like Tony Khan.

Later that night, Bob Lashley was crowned as the winner thanks to the almighty spear.

While I would've preferred a Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar match to happen at Wrestlemania, I don't mind seeing it a few months before just because it's been a dream match of mine throughout most of my wrestling fandom.

Paul Heyman's promos are legit a masterclass in improvisational dialogue and his latest promo is no exception.

Oh, and I like babyface Brock. It's like old Brock but without the mariachi band.

RKBRO vs Alpha Academy.

This ain't Monday Night RAW without a rematch. A rematch I do not mind, I guess?

Alpha Academy pinned the tag champs which means a title match because that's how you build your number one contender.

Reggie And Dana Brooke vs Akira Tozawa And Tamina.

That flip pin from Reggie was cool but that's all I can say about this. The champion and the former sommelier wins here.

Becky Lynch Encounters Two Of Her Former Challengers.

Bianca Belair and Liv Morgan wanted a title opportunity which led to a brawl between all 3 women that ended with Becky Lynch standing tall.

Not a fan of Morgan's theme change but I am a fan of a possible triple threat match between all 3 competitors.

And I spoke too soon because Doudrop demanded a RAW women's championship opportunity so the white man, Adam Pearce and his Karen, Sonya Deville made a 3-way match to determine the number one contender for the red women's belt at the Royal Rumble.

Now that sounds like a banger of an encounter.

Rhea Ripley And Nikki A.S.H vs Carmella And Queen Zelina Vega.

Speaking of Monday Night RAW and their rematches. The heels retained the championship. Cool.

As announced days ago, Johnny Knoxville is going to be in the Royal Rumble. Ah, WHO!?

Damian Priest vs Dolph Ziggler For The United States Championship.

Here's a guy I haven't seen in quite some time, Damian Priest. This bout was decent with an ending that we all saw coming because let's face it, Dolph Ziggler continues to be portrayed as the "Halo grunt" of WWE in that he's easily beatable.

A Mixed Tag Team Match Announced Between Edge, Beth Phoenix, The Miz And Maryse.

Ah. Nice. I'm so excited about this (sarcasm of course).

AJ Styles vs Omos.

A one-sided match because Omos' big and strong. You know who's also big and strong. Giant Gonzalez and guess what? he f**king sucks.

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.

Like: The opening segment, the fatal 4-way match

Didn't like: I guess the announcement of the Edge and Beth Phoenix vs The Miz And Maryse.

THE Coherent AEW Take: I Ain't Tellin' You No Lie, The Hook Brings You Back

PAGE AND BRYAN! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK! PAGE AND BRYAN! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK! That's it. That's the intro. Rampage. Highlights. HOOOOOOOOK! I mean, I gotta support the man himself named Hook, DUHHH! What can I say, I like a man that is built different, quick, agile and hard……..in professional wrestling, of course. Suffice to say, Hook does something that Kalya Braxton doesn't and that is, making all biracials proud. FTR vs Lucha Brothers for the AEW world tag team championship Two of the best tag teams I've ever witnessed as a wrestling fan (yes, they're THAT darn good) battling it out in an opening match so banging, not even your Beats headphone can replicate it, ya feel me? The Lucha Brothers get to walk out of this episode of Rampage still as the reigning world tag champs. Some Other Things That Happened. Adam Cole defeated Wheeler Yuta - Adam Cole appreciation comment. Dynamite. Highlights. Hangman Page...

Escape The Undertaker | A Short Coherent Review.

The internet. The only place where your YouTube recommended is filled with "I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT'S PG". It is also home to Netflix which released an interactive movie produced by future Raspberry award-winning movie studio, WWE films. Look, the idea of 3 black dudes being trapped inside a house by a white conservative dead hog, is offensive and by that description alone, you weren't sure for a sec whether you were watching Netflix or the Daily Wire. Luckily, there wasn't a cameo from Tessa Blanchard so you should be fine. As a fan of Mass Effect 2, I love some dialogue trees that alter the events of a movie/game. And, from a functionality standpoint, it is a technical marvel how it gives the audience the illusion of choice (you know, like our current economic system). I say "illusion" because therein lies the main problem I have with the film. Your choices don't matter here. Even in a WWE movie, they're still trying to avoid the fan...

WWE Smackdown Live 11/9/18 | My Coherent Review.

Smackdown live was overall a good show. Why you ask? Well, I'm gonna tell you what's good, what's ok and what's bad. Here we go. WHAT'S GOOD Jeff Hardy vs Shinsuke Nakamura The promo before this was okay however that was a goooood match. Better than their in counter at SummerSlam. Jeff was about to beat Nakamura, however, randy outta nowhere pushes hardy on the outside hence Nakamura retains the championship and Jeff wins via DQ. They had a brawl that was better than the brawl last night on RAW I'll tell you that much. Samoa Joe telling a bedtime story in a good not boring way. I thought from the editing to the design of the book to the way Samoa Joe express the story was fantastic. The thing I LOVE about this is that it's a outside in the box type of promo package that worked. Man, I can't wait for this match. On Sunday night when the PPV airs, I think I'm gonna call my local "WENDYYYS" (My goodness that was awfu...

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