WWE RAW 3/1/22 | A Coherent Review

It's the first RAW review of 2022 and my 4th year continuing the war in professional wrestling bullsh*t which also kicked off my sad and miserable adulthood.

With that being said, this week's episode was not terrible.

Brocky Brock Reunited With His Well-suited Funky Bunch.

The best part? Lesnar wanted us to acknowledge his Viking roots with his beard and hair.

Paul Heyman went over the challengers for the fatal 4 way number one contender's match (aka the OG OG OG match at last night's day 1 show) in the most Paul Heyman way possible in that he praises you then proceeds to sh*t talk about you kinda like Tony Khan.

Later that night, Bob Lashley was crowned as the winner thanks to the almighty spear.

While I would've preferred a Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar match to happen at Wrestlemania, I don't mind seeing it a few months before just because it's been a dream match of mine throughout most of my wrestling fandom.

Paul Heyman's promos are legit a masterclass in improvisational dialogue and his latest promo is no exception.

Oh, and I like babyface Brock. It's like old Brock but without the mariachi band.

RKBRO vs Alpha Academy.

This ain't Monday Night RAW without a rematch. A rematch I do not mind, I guess?

Alpha Academy pinned the tag champs which means a title match because that's how you build your number one contender.

Reggie And Dana Brooke vs Akira Tozawa And Tamina.

That flip pin from Reggie was cool but that's all I can say about this. The champion and the former sommelier wins here.

Becky Lynch Encounters Two Of Her Former Challengers.

Bianca Belair and Liv Morgan wanted a title opportunity which led to a brawl between all 3 women that ended with Becky Lynch standing tall.

Not a fan of Morgan's theme change but I am a fan of a possible triple threat match between all 3 competitors.

And I spoke too soon because Doudrop demanded a RAW women's championship opportunity so the white man, Adam Pearce and his Karen, Sonya Deville made a 3-way match to determine the number one contender for the red women's belt at the Royal Rumble.

Now that sounds like a banger of an encounter.

Rhea Ripley And Nikki A.S.H vs Carmella And Queen Zelina Vega.

Speaking of Monday Night RAW and their rematches. The heels retained the championship. Cool.

As announced days ago, Johnny Knoxville is going to be in the Royal Rumble. Ah, WHO!?

Damian Priest vs Dolph Ziggler For The United States Championship.

Here's a guy I haven't seen in quite some time, Damian Priest. This bout was decent with an ending that we all saw coming because let's face it, Dolph Ziggler continues to be portrayed as the "Halo grunt" of WWE in that he's easily beatable.

A Mixed Tag Team Match Announced Between Edge, Beth Phoenix, The Miz And Maryse.

Ah. Nice. I'm so excited about this (sarcasm of course).

AJ Styles vs Omos.

A one-sided match because Omos' big and strong. You know who's also big and strong. Giant Gonzalez and guess what? he f**king sucks.

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.

Like: The opening segment, the fatal 4-way match

Didn't like: I guess the announcement of the Edge and Beth Phoenix vs The Miz And Maryse.

WrestleFest DXB's Fahrenheit 971 | A Coherent W.

Being a fan of pro wrestling (or any other medium of entertainment) does have its pros and cons when engaging with the industry as a whole. On one hand, you've witnessed an Eddie Kingston promo that'll make you tear up more than the opening scene of Up. On the other hand, going to the wrestling subreddit will definitely have you questioning humanity as a whole and the fact that living in an area where a wrestling presence pretty much doesn't exist like a Vince Russo-written storyline that is, you know, GOOD!? Luckily, the latter retracted my con as a fan because I'm talking about Wrestlefest DXB and their latest joint, "971 Fahrenheit". Martin Bushby of now Post Wrestling Alumni brought the event to my attention because like a wrestler on an episode of RAW I get distracted all the time. So, I decided to take a short journey to a taxi then a bus then a train then a 30-minute walk to the show itself and I know I'm going to sound biased as f**k but I l...

Let's Talk About The White Rabbit In The Room.

I haven't reviewed last year's show mainly because it was so good and clearly as extreme as any ECW match and I'm happy to tell all 3 of y'all that this one is better by several inches or so. Why? *slaps my bald head* HERE'S WHY. The opening match between Sheamus and Gunther's crew ruled harder than the Mongolian empire. It was basically an enhanced version of Sheamus' match with Gunther last night on Smackdown and I loved it. The Brawling Brutes' victory means one thing that is clearly obvious, a rematch between Sheamus and Gunther for the intercontinental championship aka the only series of rematches I don't mind. Ronda Rousey and Liv Morgan delivered in what was a wrestling match equivalent to the X-Men Dark Phoenix movie. While Bianca Belair and Bayley had their equivalent to the first Iron Man movie in that it was decent. Drew McIntyre and Karrion Kross had an okay edition of the "Meaty men slapping meat". That spear from Edge to...

A Few Thoughts On RAW And Smackdown: RAW wasn't GREAT!?

Since this blog will be less of a priority now considering I'm focusing on my podcast now (hit the 5 stars on Apple Podcast you sons of b*tches), I decided to share my few thoughts on RAW, Smackdown, I guess? Smackdown. The blue brand delivered yet another good episode this week and it's probably due to the fact that Braun Strowman taking out the Maximum Model is high-key funny as f**k. The folks over at Titan Towers are bringing back the essence of their characters whether it's Kevin Owens, Shayna Baszler or in this case, Big Braun himself. As a fan, you gotta love it, especially since in the case of Strowman, the dude hasn't been the same since he turned heel 4 years ago when feuding with Roman Reigns for the universal title. Other noteworthy segments include Logan Paul challenging Roman Reigns for the big world universal multiverse galactic cinematic championship. Imagine they pulled that match off 7 years ago back when Logan was on V...

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