WWE Day Numero Uno | A Coherent Review.

WWE with their PPVs as of late (*cough* I mean premium live events), is like a movie with bad marketing you know like Netflix with their content. 

And after seeing the entire program, the show makes me wanna say…..

It's new years day and it's same old sh*t! 

It's new years day and it's same old WHAT! 

It's new years day and it's same old sh*t! 

It's new years day and it's same old sh*t! 

In other words, the event was a visual potato salad in that it's uninspiring but the salt and pepper made the thing someway, somehow, a tiny bit edible. 

But, at least it wasn't 4 hours long, right? 

Images via WWE.com

Sheamus And Ridge Holland vs Cesaro And Ricochet. 

My man Holland took a BIG SHANK ON THE NOSE, YEA! 

Both Sheamus and his former Bar comrade, Cesaro were the clear highlight in this tag team encounter. Cesaro was blindsided by the great whitey tighty thanks to the brogue kick and that's how the bad guys won the match (don’t you ever call Sheamus that ever again, Omar). 

The New Day vs The Usos For The SmackDown Tag Team Championship. 

It's another set of New Day and Usos matches and I'll NEVER give it a good old thumbs down because this opening match ruled like a well functioning monarch. 

Despite the struggle Usos had within the first few moments of the match, they, in the most unexpected conclusion, retained the championship with the 3D. 

Drew McIntyre vs Madcap Moss. 

A match you've seen many times on Smackdown is a match worthy of being scheduled for a premium live event……... if you hate yourself. 

The man with haggis in his body, defeated Midcap Moss with the claymore kick. 

RKBRO vs The Street Profits For The RAW Tag Team Championship. 

An extended version of a solid match on an episode of Monday Night RAW. 

The tag team champions still called themselves as the top guys of the 3 team division due to a pop-up from Riddle followed by an RKO by Randall to Montez Ford. 

Edge vs The Miz. 

A feud based on a match you've seen more than once on a 2011 episode of Smackdown but couldn't remember it all because that's how much people cared about WWE revisiting the encounter.  

You wanna know the best part about this (if you can call it that)? It ended with a distraction finish. 

Beth Phoenix distracted Miz which gave Edge the opportunity to hit the spear and win the entire match. 

I smell a rematch this time a mixed tag team match and I don't like it. 

Becky Lynch vs Liv Morgan For The RAW Women's Championship. 

Liv Morgan is the woman that stepped the hell up considering she held herself very well with a star like Becky Lynch. 

However, Morgan, unfortunately, lost the match and I'm hoping this ain't the last of Liv in a title picture but y'all know WWE with their creative process. 

Seth Rollins vs Bobby Lashley vs Brock Lesnar vs Big E vs Kevin Owens For The WWE Championship. 

It's rare that the main event is the match that lit the spark out of hours long premium live intercourse…….oops I mean premium live event but it did here.  

Brook Shagner delivered the F5 to Big E to win his 5th WWE championship. 

It begs the question of whether the original plan was for Brick Langer to win the universal championship but we'll never know. 

Either way, I surprisingly didn't mind this finish as long as it sets up for a Brock and Bobby Lashley match at Wrestlemania 38. 

It really sucks that Big E's run as WWE champion felt like an anime filler arc and should've been presented a lot better on television and I can tell solely as a viewer,  the man himself tried so hard to be the exact opposite of that. 

As far as the news of Roman Reigns testing positive for Covid, I'm hoping Reigns makes the speediest recovery. 

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos. 

Like: New Day vs The Usos, fatal 5 way, LIV F’ING MORGAN! 

Didn't like: Edge vs Miz, why Drew McIntyre and Midcap Moss?