Apologies for avoiding talking about AEW's flagship shows this week.
Luckily, my avoidance of sorts wasn't as bad as when my man Hangman Page took the blackout from Lance Archer on top of the chair.
That's a Will Smith type of pain that I just cannot handle because back pains are the worst.
I did enjoy what the elite brand had to offer this past week so let's get to it.
Rampage.
Highlights.
Adam Cole vs Trent Beretta.
I bet Cole looked at Trent's military buzz cut and said, "thank God it ain't me."
What I would bet on is this match because it's the best encounter of the entire episode.
The person calling himself "TheChugs" on Twitch, won the match with the last shot.
Some Other Things That Happened.
Shawn Spears sends a message to CM Punk - Wait, Spears' alive!?
Leyla Hirsch, Kris Statlander and Red Velvet lost to Nyla Rose, The Bunny And Penelope Ford - It doesn't include a monarch character with a bad oie bruf accent so that's nice.
Ricky Starks vs Jay Lethal soon? - To tell you whether I'm on board with this match is a quote from Rick Ross which is, "No sir. Not me!"
The Jurassic Express retained the world tag belts against Dark Order's John Silver And Alex Reynolds - A reminder that John Silver's impression of Mark Henry's "It's time for the main event" is funnier than any of Dave Chappelle's recent comedy specials.
Dynamite.
Highlights.
JON MOXLEY IS BACK!
The former AEW champ is back and my man Jonny Mox is looking prettay, prettay, pretty good.
Moxley cut a very passionate promo about his struggles and how he's going to beat the sh*t of those darn demons like Buffy Summers.
I do believe that this scene (as well as the Cody one later in the episode) is a great example of improvisational dialogue because the promo was spoken from the heart which made the segment even more authentic.
Speaking of the Cody promo.……….
Cody Rhodes Said, "Sammy Guevara. WHO!?"
In this segment, Cody Rhodes basically compared himself between his recent run-in pro wrestling and CM Punk's journey.
To all of the people out there that were mad Rhodes didn't mention Sammy Guevara, I gotta ask y'all, you do realize he's, to quote Billie Elish, a bad guy right?
Here's something that at times, I don't wanna admit. Babyface Cody Rhodes wasn't terrible overall (besides the promo that shall be named as "black/white").
It's just that the writing for the character was so weak that it felt like it was time for a change.
And Cody has definitely embraced the hate, if you know what I mean.
Some Other Things That Happened.
Adam Cole and Britt Baker beat Orange Cassidy And Kris Statlander - Where's my mind during this match? Somewhere not on the screen because I napped throughout most of the encounter.
CM Punk defeated Shawn Spears - See you in several or so months, Shawn!
Malaki Black and Brody King defeated The Varsity Blonds - My WWE shill a** regret not discovering Brody King a LOT sooner because the dude is legit that damn good.
Oh, and Pac was blindfolded while holding a card (that sounded so weird out of context).
"Everybody dieeeess after hearing Dan Lamberrrrt" - Yes. It's a reference to Lance Archer' theme song and guess what? I'll pat myself on the back because that statement was witty and clever.
Lance Archer defeated Frankie Kazarian with the blackout that led to a bit of a brawl between Archer and "cowboy sh*te" Hangman Page.
Serena Deeb said, "I'm all for the violence" - Gotta say, I'm liking whatever they're doing with her. Deeb picked up the dub over Skye Blue.
The Acclaimed lost to Darby Allin and Sting - Yo. Yo…….. Nah, I suck at this, like Max Caster.
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