That's it. That's the intro.
Images via WWE.com
Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor.
Before the match, Rollins glowed about the WWE championship match at *sigh* Day One (for real, y'all can't bring back New Year's Resolution?)
Side note, I can't help but look at how much of an afterthought Finn Balor is. He's literally replaced Ricochet's role on RAW as being kind there.
I will say, the match was good though. "I didn't realize I almost quoted Fred Hampton with the revolutionary line" Seth Rollins wins with the stomp.
Becky Lynch And Liv Morgan Contract Signing.
This entire segment revolved around Becky Lynch wanting Morgan to have a chip on her shoulder and Liv told Becky to shut up for once (I, for one, also love telling Beckys to shut up).
And then it went South as Liv Morgan brought up how if it wasn't for her greedy contract, her friends would still be in the company.
Ah, the classic "blame the workers instead of the corporations".
I liked the way Liv Morgan executed her lines. She came off as a worthy challenger to a notable persona like Becky Lynch.
I wouldn't mind Liv Morgan's shoot line had she said it to an authority figure like an Adam Pearce or even a Vince McMahon.
Not gonna lie though, that last bit of her promo and the other dialogue from Edge later did come off as not only nonsensical from a narrative perspective but also pretty tone-deaf.
My comments above are also how I feel about the entire Edge and Miz segment so I wouldn't further dive into it. Also, an Edge and Miz feud doesn't scream exciting to me.
RKBRO vs Dolph Ziggler And Robert Roode For The RAW Tag Team Championship.
A decent match. Pedro Pascal and his POS friend retained the championship.
The Street Profits vs Alpha Academy.
AJ Styles is apparently "blind" and him distracting Montez Ford did not stop The Street Profits from winning the match. Do I care about this? Absolutely not!
Damian Priest vs APOLLLLOOOOOOOOO For The United States Championship.
A fine bout for what it was. Priest nailed the reckoning on Crews to retain the US championship.
Rey And Dominik Mysterio vs Cedric Alexander And Shelton Benjamin.
Both Rey and Shelton started in WWE in the early 2000s and they still haven't aged a bit and that's me referring to their in-ring presence.
Oh, and the match was really fun to watch. The Mysterios won with a frog splash made famous by Dominik's father, Eddie Guerrero.
Team Liv Morgan vs Team Becky Lynch.
Side note, I would love to see a feud in the future between Rhea Ripley and Bianca Belair (if WWE can do it right of course).
They gave all of those women some time surprisingly which is quite rare in titan towers.
Liv Morgan led her team to victory which led to a bit of back and forth rights and lefts between Liv and Becky.
Vince McMahon wanted Austin Theory to watch the entire show with him to teach him a lesson.
I mean, considering Austin Theory and the fact that Monday Night RAW is visual torture in most weeks, I can't help but say, based Vince McMahon!?
Big E vs Kevin Owens.
Seth Rollins is on commentary looking like a Baskin Robbins item. Due to Sethy ending the match via a DQ, the championship match has now turned into a triple threat match.
Usually in WWE programming, the "No DQ" cliche is a trope that I absolutely dislike because depending on the context, it doesn't benefit anyone especially when it's for a championship.
However, the ending of this match actually made a lot of sense for a few reasons.
As a champion, Big E doesn't eat the pin, protecting the champion in the process, Kevin Owens has been feuding with E for weeks now so adding him in the match was the right decision and Seth Rollins wants nothing more than to beat the hell out of Owens hence the DQ finish.
In other words, the ending was good!
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Team Liv Morgan vs Team Becky Lynch, Rey And Dominik Mysterio vs Cedric Alexander And Shelton Benjamin, Liv Morgan's presence on the mic, based Vince McMahon!?
Dislike: The "shoot" line in both Liv and Edge's promo was nonsensical from a narrative perspective and tone-deaf, Edge vs Miz? No sir, not me.