WWE RAW 9/8/21 | A Coherent Review.

I'm back and I'm not better than ever because I watch Monday Night RAW and talk about it every single week.

But, this week's edition wasn't bad, it was just kinda there.

Images via WWE.com

You Hear Voices In Your Head? It's Probably Randy Orton Coming Back (so f**king corny, Omar).

Randy Orton returned to the red brand after a several week absence which I wouldn't blame you if you thought Orton was a bald Pedro Pascal for a second.

Orton wanted to have nothing to do with Riddle (I'm sure everyone is in agreement with that statement) and Riddle wasn't too thrilled about it.

Styles showed up to challenge Randal Keith Orton to a match on this very episode and Orton accepted it which led to a bit of a brawl.

Later in the night, Orton defeated the phenomenal one in a decent encounter. And then, Riddle ate an RKO. I've said this before in my reviews and I'm saying it again. WWE HATES friendships.

As far as where this storyline goes, I legit have no idea which is an indication of being either a good thing or a bad thing.

And right now, my compass is leaning towards the bad thing.

Drew McIntyre vs Baron Corbin.

Drew wanted to help Corbin by asking the guy how much does the 2019 king of the ring winner wants to live comfortably.

And Baron Corbin replied, "$100,000" (not a fan of this story but that line made me laugh uncontrollably).

Drew responded to that request with a claymore to win the match. Drew then had some interaction with Jinder Mahal that I don't care about.

Who would've thought that Baron Corbin (a Smackdown guy) was the highlight of this show?

Karrion Kross defeated Jeff Hardy. I mean, finally, I guess?

Bliss used her literal voodoo child to defeat *ugh* Doudrop. Great!

Damian Priest Confronted Sheamus.

After Sheamus' victory over Ricochet, Priest, like the title stated, confronted the United States champion.

I'm sure both dudes are going to deliver a superb match at SummerSlam but I cannot be the only one that doesn't give two flips about this feud.

Speaking of the former North American champion, he had a good match with John Morrison although it feels like I've seen that encounter every second of my life since April.

T-Bar vs Mustafa Ali.

Would you look at that? Another good match.

T-Bar picked up the W. Mansoor then prevented Mustafa Ali from taking a beating.

I'm liking the odd couple pairing of Mansoor and Mustafa Ali. It is a cliche but in this case, it works quite well here.

Both R Truth (disguised as a janitor) and Akira Tozawa (disguised as a delivery worker) tried to capture the 24/7 championship from Reggie but they failed their mission.

I will say, Reggie was out here giving Jackie Chan a run for his money.

Nikki A.S.H vs Rhea Ripley.

Charlotte Flair ended the match via a DQ and gave both competitors a physical statement of sorts.

Another feud that I don't give a crap about and this involves the women's championship. Thank WWE's inconsistent writing for that feeling I currently have.

In an in-ring promo, Bobby Lashley and MVP warned that Goldberg's career will be over because of the Almighty. Not a bad segment.

What I want from this is a one-sided victory for my friend, Bob.

In a scene filmed in the middle of nowhere, Elias burned his guitar, signalling "the end of Elias" according to the man himself. Can't say that I hate this.

I'm actually intrigued as to what it leads from here because that "walk with Elias'' thing has already passed its prime, like Goldberg or Vince McMahon's creativity.

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.

Like: Baron Corbin "$100,000" line, Mustafa Ali vs T-Bar, Damian Priest vs John Morrison.

Didn't like: The Randy Orton turn, are you excited for a Priest and Sheamus feud because I ain't?

THE Coherent AEW Take: I Ain't Tellin' You No Lie, The Hook Brings You Back

PAGE AND BRYAN! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK! PAGE AND BRYAN! HOOK! HOOK! HOOK! That's it. That's the intro. Rampage. Highlights. HOOOOOOOOK! I mean, I gotta support the man himself named Hook, DUHHH! What can I say, I like a man that is built different, quick, agile and hard……..in professional wrestling, of course. Suffice to say, Hook does something that Kalya Braxton doesn't and that is, making all biracials proud. FTR vs Lucha Brothers for the AEW world tag team championship Two of the best tag teams I've ever witnessed as a wrestling fan (yes, they're THAT darn good) battling it out in an opening match so banging, not even your Beats headphone can replicate it, ya feel me? The Lucha Brothers get to walk out of this episode of Rampage still as the reigning world tag champs. Some Other Things That Happened. Adam Cole defeated Wheeler Yuta - Adam Cole appreciation comment. Dynamite. Highlights. Hangman Page...

Escape The Undertaker | A Short Coherent Review.

The internet. The only place where your YouTube recommended is filled with "I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT'S PG". It is also home to Netflix which released an interactive movie produced by future Raspberry award-winning movie studio, WWE films. Look, the idea of 3 black dudes being trapped inside a house by a white conservative dead hog, is offensive and by that description alone, you weren't sure for a sec whether you were watching Netflix or the Daily Wire. Luckily, there wasn't a cameo from Tessa Blanchard so you should be fine. As a fan of Mass Effect 2, I love some dialogue trees that alter the events of a movie/game. And, from a functionality standpoint, it is a technical marvel how it gives the audience the illusion of choice (you know, like our current economic system). I say "illusion" because therein lies the main problem I have with the film. Your choices don't matter here. Even in a WWE movie, they're still trying to avoid the fan...

WWE Smackdown Live 11/9/18 | My Coherent Review.

Smackdown live was overall a good show. Why you ask? Well, I'm gonna tell you what's good, what's ok and what's bad. Here we go. WHAT'S GOOD Jeff Hardy vs Shinsuke Nakamura The promo before this was okay however that was a goooood match. Better than their in counter at SummerSlam. Jeff was about to beat Nakamura, however, randy outta nowhere pushes hardy on the outside hence Nakamura retains the championship and Jeff wins via DQ. They had a brawl that was better than the brawl last night on RAW I'll tell you that much. Samoa Joe telling a bedtime story in a good not boring way. I thought from the editing to the design of the book to the way Samoa Joe express the story was fantastic. The thing I LOVE about this is that it's a outside in the box type of promo package that worked. Man, I can't wait for this match. On Sunday night when the PPV airs, I think I'm gonna call my local "WENDYYYS" (My goodness that was awfu...

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