WWE RAW 30/8/21 | A Coherent Review.

Monday Night RAW this week didn't hurt my brain cells (except Nia Jax's wrestling skills which are as consistent as any Rob Schneider comedy).

Images via WWE.com

Damian Priest Was Like, "I'll Have An Open Challenge, Please?"

And then, it turned out to be a "wrestlers stated their case as to why they should be a contender" cliche starring Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, Bobby Lashley and the team of RKBro.

To which Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville were like, "how about Damian Priest defending his belt against Drew McIntyre and Sheamus while RKBRO faces the team of MVP and Bobby Lashley".

Cliche aside, the opening scene did a great job of showing a huge importance to the United States Championship which is something that I've been wanting for quite some time.

Rhea Ripley vs Shayna Baszler.

Remember when both of these competitors main evented an episode of NXT? Good times.

Ripley wins with an inside cradle which led to Nia Jax attacking the winner of the match.

Me saying "attacking" when describing the post-match beatdown isn't doing the scene justice.

Side note, Shayna isn't allowed to just win a match with ease.

The Viking Raiders vs Jinder Mahal And Veer.

The Viking Raiders won with the Viking Experience. Cool.

Damian Priest vs Drew McIntyre vs Sheamus For The United States Championship.

Aka the exact opposite of Viking Raiders vs Jinder and Veer.

This match ruled like Doctor Doom Latveria. Priest retained the title with the reckoning to Drew McIntyre.

R Truth and Akira Tozawa have failed in capturing the 24/7 championship from Reggie. The funniest part about all of this is when Reggie jumped through the fence, Truth was like, "why are you jumping over gates bruh? It got a handle on it."

I still think that the belt should be retired though.

Doudrop vs Eva Marie.

The match hasn't started because Doudrop attacked Marie during her entrance.

More of this? No, please.

Karrion Kross vs Humberto Carrillo.

Kross may look like a $1 tier Spartacus but he's at least winning matches, right?

Charlotte Flair vs Nia Jax.

The "Vinnie Ross shoot, shoot cowboy" esque feel, lacked a sense of direction which is what makes the entire encounter an uncomfortable mess to witness as a fan.

Jax defeated Flair with a powerbomb of some sort.

Johnny lost to Omos in a match (in other words, Flo Rida's song "whistle" was about blowjobs) while his partner in crime, AJ Styles also picked up the victory against Xavier Woods.

Bobby Lashley And MVP vs RKBRO.

The shenanigans from AJ Styles And Omos on the outside, did not stop Riddle from pinning MVP to win this tag team exhibition.

Riddle ate a spear from Bobby Lashley however, Lashley took an RKO from outta nowhere (never gets old seeing bold Pedro Pas…. I mean, Randy Orton executing an RKO from out of nowhere).

Overall, I thought the match was good besides Styles and Omos' role in the match.

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.

Like: The opening segment, Damian Priest vs Sheamus vs Drew McIntyre, Randy Orton And Riddle vs Bobby Lashley and MVP.

Didn't like: Whatever the hell happened in the Charlotte Flair and Nia Jax bout.

Top 3 BEST Distraction Finishes EVER!

Distraction endings to a wrestling match in WWE depend on one another if you think about it. It's like the peanut butter and jelly or the chicken and the basmati biryani rice or Dan Lambert and sexism. "Why top 3", you may ask? Because one, I'm different and two, well, I'm different, so be gone to the mofos that think it's shorter than Brock Lesnar's bout with Kofi Kingston. (WARNING: This piece is mostly sarcasm). Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus. Wrestlemania 28. I know this made your eyebrows raise as high as Rocky Maivia but think about this. The kiss from AJ Lee that led to a brogue kick from Sheamus, has in some way, led to the general audience seeing how Daniel Bryan should be WAY higher in the overall arc than where he was at that time. Also, this was also the year where Bryan showed off his comedic chops with his "NO" catchphrase and his tag team run with the big red conservative, Kane. If anything, this distraction finish was a great chara...

NXT Takeover: 30 | A Coherent Review.

NXT Takeovers have delivered greatly throughout the "30 years" of Takeover shows. This one, in my opinion, wasn't it. For a Takeover program, this was disappointing. All of the Takeovers are A's or B's and Takeover 30 was a C at best. At least, I like the stage production set. pictures via WWE.com PRESHOW: Breezango vs Legado De La Fantasma vs Oney Lorcan And Danny Burch. Winner Faces Imperium For The NXT Tag Team Championship. It was a fine match. Joaquin Wilde's ring gear was really cool even though it took a bit out of the seriousness from the Legado De La Fantasma stable. I'm just nitpicking though. Breezango actually won the match and will go on to face Imperium for the tag belts. MAIN SHOW: Finn Balor vs Timothy Thatcher. Timothy Thatcher started off this match with a series of punches which he then later transitioned into various submission moves. Pretty much, Finn has no choice but to adapt to...

WWE RAW 28/2/22 | A Coherent Review.

Another week, another episode of Monday Night RAW aka a 2 hour podcast for an angry bearded white guy. Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins spoke with Alpha Academy and……….. It led to a stunner from Kevin Owens to Chad Gable I can't criticize the way Gable says thank you because after all, he's a chad. The segment followed with a decent tag team match between two former rivals and the Academics. And like their dating life, the Alphas took an L here. This is the part where I would be mad at the tag champs getting pinned but those titles, as well as the entire tag division, are so meaningless, I don't have the energy to do so. T-Bar vs Omos. T-Bar lost a match and Omos can't wrestle for sh*ts. In other news, the colour of blood is red. Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley And Liv Morgan vs Becky Lynch, Doudrop And Nikki A.S.H. Bianca once again proves that she owns all of the EST by leading her team to victory with the KOD on Nikki Ash Ketchum....

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