Skip to main content

WWE RAW 31/5/21 | A Coherent Review.

I was recently reading my RAW reviews from 2019 and the thing that is common in all of those reviews was that while I had some issues with those episodes, the shows were decent as a whole. 

2021, however, is, of course, a different story. Ever since the fall of last year, I've been consistently getting terrible episode after terrible episode that is giving SNL a run for its money. 

At this point, criticizing Monday Night RAW is a God damn routine. 

Images via WWE.com 

The Miz TV. Special Guest, Charlotte Flair. 

As told by the headline above, the show opened with Miz TV. A segment that literally nobody looks forward to.  

You had John Morrison legit wearing a necklace that is covered in garlic for protecting himself from any supernatural thing appearing which was PEAK CRINGE. 

Charlotte Flair stated that she'll send Rhea Ripley to hell in 3 weeks (by the way, this is still a weird decision to move the Hell In A Cell show in the summer but whatever). 

Out came Rhea Ripley and she delivered the greatest comeback ever quote, "you're gonna send me to hell? You can go to hell, that's for sure". 

WOAWWWWW! A comeback so vicious, it made B-Rabbit blush. 

Nikki Cross shows up and she challenged Charlotte Flair to a match that happened moments after this mediocre of a segment happened

And guess who won that match (which had a "beat the clock" stipulation)? Nikki Cross. Cross outlasted Charlotte Flair throughout the entire run time. 

Having Flair lose a series of matches going into a championship bout, to put it simply, is a F**KING IDIOTIC DECISION point-blank.

Xavier Woods vs Randy Orton. 

Shout out to Xavier Woods for the gold ranger attire from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. 

Randy Orton, however, is rocking a George Michael moustache. An okay match. Orton is victorious with Broderick. 

Reggie vs Shayna Baszler. 

This booking decision of Shayna Baszler losing this match so bad, I had to call Reggie Reginald because I ain't joking here. 

The joke is on me for watching a  f**king insufferable TV show. This is the closest thing to self-harm for me. 

Shayna stormed into Alexa Bliss' Playground because of the weird f**king sh*t that was responsible for Shayna Baszler's losing match efforts. 

Baszler wanted "a chat" with Bliss next week and boy, I couldn't care any less. 

Lucha House Party vs Mace And T-Bar.  

Yes, people. We're supposed to forget that Mace was Dio Madden (you know,  THE SAME F**KING GUY THAT DID COMMENTARY FOR THIS VERY SHOW 2 YEAR BACK?)

The bad guys win. Freaking awesome! (Sarcasm). 

Sheamus vs Ricochet. 

Before the match, Sheamus cut the most Irish a** promo I've ever witnessed (translation, I couldn't understand half of the things he said in that promo). 

The match was decent for what it was. The ending saw Sheamus losing via, of course, distraction. 

Sheamus then faced Humberto Carrillo UGHGAN and guess what? That white dude lost via a F**KING DISTRACTION FINISH. Who writes this sh*t, bruh? 


Based on the latest vignette from Eva Marie, it looks like she's going to be a manager of some sort based on that particular line, "And not only will I be a voice for myself. But, I'm here to be a voice for the superstars in WWE." 

The woman isn't a great talker but it's an improvement over here actually going to wrestle ya know. 

Naomi And Lana vs Mandy Rose And Dana Brooke. 

The blondes win. Cool. 

AJ Styles And Omos vs Elias And Jaxson Ryker. 

Why? Why? WHYEEEEEE? Elias betrayed his own partner in Jaxson Ryker  (great decision, by the way). 

Remember my wrestling comrades, this is a real TV that is written by real people. 

Cedric Alexander vs Shelton Benjamin. 

Yet another match between those two men. 

And unlike the previous matches, it lasted for a short amount of time as Cedric put his thumb on Shelton's eye which led to a quick pinfall victory (I hate being that guy but you know, Charlotte Flair could've done that in her match earlier). 


Mustafa Ali gave Mansoor a piece of advice in that Mansion shouldn't trust anyone. This was the only thing about the show that got me intrigued by a potential feud/partnership between Mansoor and Mustafa Ali. 

Bobby Lashley and MVP were celebrating in a private VIP room because winning cures everything I guess. 

Kofi Kingston vs Drew McIntyre. Winner Faces Bobby Lashley For The WWE Championship At Hell In A Cell. 

That finish with Drew hitting the claymore from mid-air to win the match, was freaking amazing. A definite highlight. 

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos. 

Like: I guess Xavier Woods' attire, the finish of the Drew McIntyre and Kofi Kingston match. 

Didn't like: Pretty much everything. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Coherent Wrestling Wednesdays: Chris Jericho Offers Moxley To Join Inner Circle, The Go-Home Show Before Dec 18th.

I thought the middle act of AEW Dynamite suffered some pacing issues even though it was overall a much stronger show than last week's episode.  The latest episode of NXT, however, has built a solid foundation on what's to come on December 18th. The main question is, which show do I like better? The answer is AEW.  NXT  Highlights. Angel Garza vs Lio Rush For The NXT Cruiserweight Championship.  Was this match better than their first encounter? Like Snoop Dogg's verse in Sasha Banks' theme song, "Hell yea". Garza slams Rush hard on the ring apron by pushing the champ. Moments later, Garza delivers the Spanish Fly and Rush kicked out of that.  As Rush hits the frog splash, the champ wanted to pull him back in the middle of the ring but instead, he ripped off Garza's pants (nice attention to detail).  Angel then hits the wind clipper but Lio kicked out which led to a wind clipper submission and the man of the hour tapped out which m...

The 5 News Week: An Interview With ROH's Eli Isom, Fans Singing Petitions For Charlotte Flair Not Winning Titles Anymore!?

Hello, my fellow wrestling fans and welcome to the 5 news week. The post where I report 5 major or minor news of the week that I don't have time to do it separately. Without further ado, here are the 5 news week. An Interview With ROH's Eli Isom.  Yes. After several and several and several of The 5 News Week articles that I've been putting out since late 2018, I finally got an interview for you guys.  The person in question is Ring Of Honour's Eli Isom. Since graduating from the ROH Dojo, Isom has worked and learned from the absolute best in the industry:  "I’m lucky that I got a chance to train from scratch with ROH, without that kind of training who knows where I’d be right now." So, without further ado, here is the conversation I had with Eli.  Omar: My first question is, how would you describe the persona of "Eli Isom" to resident WWE shills like myself? Eli Isom: For me, my wrestling persona isn’t too far off from who I real...

A Brief Guide To Pro Wrestling Websites.

So. You just become a fan of pro wrestling and have dabbled into the fandom for a bit (it's a mess ain't it?) You've just followed some news sites' social media platforms but aren't sure whether the articles they put out are accurate or not.  Well, you got the right guy to solve that problem if it's from a blog that barely gets any traction (that would be me in case you were confused).  The news we get from the medium that is pro wrestling is an integral part of the online space.  The reason being is that it's not only a great conversation starter but you could also learn something new today about the industry you love.  That doesn't mean that all of the news you see on the timeline is reliable.  I'm here to hopefully give you a guide to wrestling sites.  There are many wrestling websites out there but I wanna highlight some of the notable ones.  Okay? Here we go.  #1: Wrestling Observer Newsletter aka F4WOnline.  I can't talk about a guide t...