Skip to main content

WWE RAW 31/5/21 | A Coherent Review.

I was recently reading my RAW reviews from 2019 and the thing that is common in all of those reviews was that while I had some issues with those episodes, the shows were decent as a whole. 

2021, however, is, of course, a different story. Ever since the fall of last year, I've been consistently getting terrible episode after terrible episode that is giving SNL a run for its money. 

At this point, criticizing Monday Night RAW is a God damn routine. 

Images via WWE.com 

The Miz TV. Special Guest, Charlotte Flair. 

As told by the headline above, the show opened with Miz TV. A segment that literally nobody looks forward to.  

You had John Morrison legit wearing a necklace that is covered in garlic for protecting himself from any supernatural thing appearing which was PEAK CRINGE. 

Charlotte Flair stated that she'll send Rhea Ripley to hell in 3 weeks (by the way, this is still a weird decision to move the Hell In A Cell show in the summer but whatever). 

Out came Rhea Ripley and she delivered the greatest comeback ever quote, "you're gonna send me to hell? You can go to hell, that's for sure". 

WOAWWWWW! A comeback so vicious, it made B-Rabbit blush. 

Nikki Cross shows up and she challenged Charlotte Flair to a match that happened moments after this mediocre of a segment happened

And guess who won that match (which had a "beat the clock" stipulation)? Nikki Cross. Cross outlasted Charlotte Flair throughout the entire run time. 

Having Flair lose a series of matches going into a championship bout, to put it simply, is a F**KING IDIOTIC DECISION point-blank.

Xavier Woods vs Randy Orton. 

Shout out to Xavier Woods for the gold ranger attire from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. 

Randy Orton, however, is rocking a George Michael moustache. An okay match. Orton is victorious with Broderick. 

Reggie vs Shayna Baszler. 

This booking decision of Shayna Baszler losing this match so bad, I had to call Reggie Reginald because I ain't joking here. 

The joke is on me for watching a  f**king insufferable TV show. This is the closest thing to self-harm for me. 

Shayna stormed into Alexa Bliss' Playground because of the weird f**king sh*t that was responsible for Shayna Baszler's losing match efforts. 

Baszler wanted "a chat" with Bliss next week and boy, I couldn't care any less. 

Lucha House Party vs Mace And T-Bar.  

Yes, people. We're supposed to forget that Mace was Dio Madden (you know,  THE SAME F**KING GUY THAT DID COMMENTARY FOR THIS VERY SHOW 2 YEAR BACK?)

The bad guys win. Freaking awesome! (Sarcasm). 

Sheamus vs Ricochet. 

Before the match, Sheamus cut the most Irish a** promo I've ever witnessed (translation, I couldn't understand half of the things he said in that promo). 

The match was decent for what it was. The ending saw Sheamus losing via, of course, distraction. 

Sheamus then faced Humberto Carrillo UGHGAN and guess what? That white dude lost via a F**KING DISTRACTION FINISH. Who writes this sh*t, bruh? 


Based on the latest vignette from Eva Marie, it looks like she's going to be a manager of some sort based on that particular line, "And not only will I be a voice for myself. But, I'm here to be a voice for the superstars in WWE." 

The woman isn't a great talker but it's an improvement over here actually going to wrestle ya know. 

Naomi And Lana vs Mandy Rose And Dana Brooke. 

The blondes win. Cool. 

AJ Styles And Omos vs Elias And Jaxson Ryker. 

Why? Why? WHYEEEEEE? Elias betrayed his own partner in Jaxson Ryker  (great decision, by the way). 

Remember my wrestling comrades, this is a real TV that is written by real people. 

Cedric Alexander vs Shelton Benjamin. 

Yet another match between those two men. 

And unlike the previous matches, it lasted for a short amount of time as Cedric put his thumb on Shelton's eye which led to a quick pinfall victory (I hate being that guy but you know, Charlotte Flair could've done that in her match earlier). 


Mustafa Ali gave Mansoor a piece of advice in that Mansion shouldn't trust anyone. This was the only thing about the show that got me intrigued by a potential feud/partnership between Mansoor and Mustafa Ali. 

Bobby Lashley and MVP were celebrating in a private VIP room because winning cures everything I guess. 

Kofi Kingston vs Drew McIntyre. Winner Faces Bobby Lashley For The WWE Championship At Hell In A Cell. 

That finish with Drew hitting the claymore from mid-air to win the match, was freaking amazing. A definite highlight. 

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos. 

Like: I guess Xavier Woods' attire, the finish of the Drew McIntyre and Kofi Kingston match. 

Didn't like: Pretty much everything. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WWE Survivor Series 2018 | My Coherent Review.

Hello, my fellow wrestling fans reading this and welcome to my coherent review for Survivor Series 2018. Overall, it was a very entertaining show throughout with some minor issues and here's why.  (KICK OFF SHOW) Tag team Survivor Series match  This match was a great example of a skippable match until the last moments.  Xavier Woods did the springboard elbow drop and both members of The Revival countered that into a shatter machine which look amazing.  Minutes later, Scott Dawson hit a superplex to Jimmy Uso and an immediate frog splash from Dash Wilder to a near fall.  After that, Both Usos hit a superkick to Dash followed by a Uso splash and just like that, the Smackdown team took the W which WWE wants to forget about that (so stupid). A decent match but with a boring start in my opinion.  (MAIN SHOW) Women’s Survivor Series match  Before the match started when Nia Jax’s music hit, she got volcanic heat from the Los Ang...

WWE Wrestlemania: Backlash 2021 | A Coherent Review.

Wrestlemania: Backlash or as I like to call it, Backlashimania, gets an enthusiastic thumbs up for me. I enjoyed the hell out of this PPV overall.  Images via WWE.com The opening intro was narrated by the greatest of all time, Batista and it was straight badass despite the fact it was pretty much a promotion for Zack Snyder's new film, Army Of The Dead.  If you've read my about page, then you'll know that I ain't talking about Zack Snyder movies because his fans are…… never mind.  Rhea Ripley vs Charlotte Flair vs Asuka For The RAW Women's Championship.  Charlotte with the Cruella De Vil inspired ring gear was to quote Dolph Ziggler's old theme song, "perfection". The opening bout was fast-paced, high octane action that didn't have a slow/dull moment.  All of these women utilized quick grapples and strikes to their advantage.  Charlotte was this close to capturing the title but she was pushed to the outside, nailed the riptide to Asuka and that...

WWE NXT 2.0 16/11/21 | A Coherent Review.

I haven't reviewed NXT in two weeks and holy crap, I didn't miss much at all.  This week's show was BO. RING and I'm trying to make this interesting by adding my lame a** humour and you know you f'd up when I have to rely on my jokes to make this week's NXT discussion somewhat engaging.  Images via WWE.com   Tony D'Angelo vs Dexter Lumis.  The scary white man vs The spicy white man. WHO WILL SURVIVE!?  The answer is my favourite POC wrestler currently, Tony D'Angelo (that joke will never get old).  Johnny Gargano came to check on Dexter Lumis after Camelo Hayes and Trick Williams destroyed Lumis' hand.  Minutes later, all three guys in Dunne, Gargano and Hayes announced a triple threat match for the North American championship.  Should be a good match, is all I'm going to say about that.  Odyssey Jones And Jacket Time vs The Diamond Mine.  First off, Jacket time isn't a good tag team name. It sounds like me as a 5-year-old after wearing ...