WWE RAW 31/5/21 | A Coherent Review.

I was recently reading my RAW reviews from 2019 and the thing that is common in all of those reviews was that while I had some issues with those episodes, the shows were decent as a whole. 

2021, however, is, of course, a different story. Ever since the fall of last year, I've been consistently getting terrible episode after terrible episode that is giving SNL a run for its money. 

At this point, criticizing Monday Night RAW is a God damn routine. 

Images via WWE.com 

The Miz TV. Special Guest, Charlotte Flair. 

As told by the headline above, the show opened with Miz TV. A segment that literally nobody looks forward to.  

You had John Morrison legit wearing a necklace that is covered in garlic for protecting himself from any supernatural thing appearing which was PEAK CRINGE. 

Charlotte Flair stated that she'll send Rhea Ripley to hell in 3 weeks (by the way, this is still a weird decision to move the Hell In A Cell show in the summer but whatever). 

Out came Rhea Ripley and she delivered the greatest comeback ever quote, "you're gonna send me to hell? You can go to hell, that's for sure". 

WOAWWWWW! A comeback so vicious, it made B-Rabbit blush. 

Nikki Cross shows up and she challenged Charlotte Flair to a match that happened moments after this mediocre of a segment happened

And guess who won that match (which had a "beat the clock" stipulation)? Nikki Cross. Cross outlasted Charlotte Flair throughout the entire run time. 

Having Flair lose a series of matches going into a championship bout, to put it simply, is a F**KING IDIOTIC DECISION point-blank.

Xavier Woods vs Randy Orton. 

Shout out to Xavier Woods for the gold ranger attire from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. 

Randy Orton, however, is rocking a George Michael moustache. An okay match. Orton is victorious with Broderick. 

Reggie vs Shayna Baszler. 

This booking decision of Shayna Baszler losing this match so bad, I had to call Reggie Reginald because I ain't joking here. 

The joke is on me for watching a  f**king insufferable TV show. This is the closest thing to self-harm for me. 

Shayna stormed into Alexa Bliss' Playground because of the weird f**king sh*t that was responsible for Shayna Baszler's losing match efforts. 

Baszler wanted "a chat" with Bliss next week and boy, I couldn't care any less. 

Lucha House Party vs Mace And T-Bar.  

Yes, people. We're supposed to forget that Mace was Dio Madden (you know,  THE SAME F**KING GUY THAT DID COMMENTARY FOR THIS VERY SHOW 2 YEAR BACK?)

The bad guys win. Freaking awesome! (Sarcasm). 

Sheamus vs Ricochet. 

Before the match, Sheamus cut the most Irish a** promo I've ever witnessed (translation, I couldn't understand half of the things he said in that promo). 

The match was decent for what it was. The ending saw Sheamus losing via, of course, distraction. 

Sheamus then faced Humberto Carrillo UGHGAN and guess what? That white dude lost via a F**KING DISTRACTION FINISH. Who writes this sh*t, bruh? 

Based on the latest vignette from Eva Marie, it looks like she's going to be a manager of some sort based on that particular line, "And not only will I be a voice for myself. But, I'm here to be a voice for the superstars in WWE." 

The woman isn't a great talker but it's an improvement over here actually going to wrestle ya know. 

Naomi And Lana vs Mandy Rose And Dana Brooke. 

The blondes win. Cool. 

AJ Styles And Omos vs Elias And Jaxson Ryker. 

Why? Why? WHYEEEEEE? Elias betrayed his own partner in Jaxson Ryker  (great decision, by the way). 

Remember my wrestling comrades, this is a real TV that is written by real people. 

Cedric Alexander vs Shelton Benjamin. 

Yet another match between those two men. 

And unlike the previous matches, it lasted for a short amount of time as Cedric put his thumb on Shelton's eye which led to a quick pinfall victory (I hate being that guy but you know, Charlotte Flair could've done that in her match earlier). 

Mustafa Ali gave Mansoor a piece of advice in that Mansion shouldn't trust anyone. This was the only thing about the show that got me intrigued by a potential feud/partnership between Mansoor and Mustafa Ali. 

Bobby Lashley and MVP were celebrating in a private VIP room because winning cures everything I guess. 

Kofi Kingston vs Drew McIntyre. Winner Faces Bobby Lashley For The WWE Championship At Hell In A Cell. 

That finish with Drew hitting the claymore from mid-air to win the match, was freaking amazing. A definite highlight. 

So, to recap for all of you slow mofos. 

Like: I guess Xavier Woods' attire, the finish of the Drew McIntyre and Kofi Kingston match. 

Didn't like: Pretty much everything.