I know it's something you've heard a gazillion times but it's true.
We are on the road to Wrestlemania which is f'ing crazy to think about.
While this year's Royal Rumble PPV had its moments, the show as a whole was just fine.
By the way, the show was almost 4 hours but it felt like 2.
As usual, I can't talk about the women's tag team title match at the pre-show simply because I've not seen it.
Images via WWE.com
Drew McIntyre vs Goldberg For The WWE Championship.
When Goldberg hits the jackhammer, I almost had a heart attack but thank God the Scotsmen kicked out.
Oh, and Drew McIntyre won the match in a meh opening match that was shorter than the Immortals Fenix Rising demo (the most specific reference I've ever made).
They showed some respect after the match.
At least Drew McIntyre won, right?
Sasha Banks vs Carmella For The SmackDown Women's Championship.
Carmella almost killed herself with that sick looking suicide dive.
Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to win the SmackDown women's championship as Sasha retained with the bank's statement.
This wasn't as good as their match back at TLC but it was a decent effort from both women.
A backstage segment between the New Day and Sami Zayn led to a performance by Bad Bunny which included Booker T dressed as GI Bro just like the music video.
I mean, I've seen the worst in WWE so I can't complain.
The 4th Ever Women's Royal Rumble Match.
Just like my previous 2 Royal Rumble matches recap, I ain't talking about everything about the match but rather some of the highlights.
Naomi made her return after months of recovering a 6-hour surgery (from WrestlingInc), entering at number dos.
Billie Kay was outside the ring and she's trying to recruit the likes of Shayna Baszler and Toni Storm but failed miserably.
But, she did get accepted by Jillian Hall.
Speaking of Shayna Baszler, she pulled off an elimination by taking out Shotzi Blackheart.
Victoria is back with her theme song that I remember disliking a TON.
Billie Kay eliminated Jillian Hall but Billie was immediately taken out by The Riott Squad in Ruby Riott and Liv Morgan.
Torrie Wilson showed up and she was impressive in the ring, pulling off moves like a neckbreaker and a suplex with ease.
24/7 championship shenanigans ensued as R Truth showed up thinking that it's the men's Rumble match.
Alicia Fox captured the championship only for Truth to get it back (Truth later lost it to Peter Roseberg. Great).
Wow, clearly, this shtick isn't getting old (sarcasm of course).
Carmella was in this match and thanks to a superkick by Tamina to her sommelier, Carmella's feet were on the ground, making this an obvious elimination.
Honestly, this was a waste of a pick.
Surprisingly, Alexa Bliss was eliminated pretty quick.
It was now down to two women, Bianca Belair and Rhea Ripley.
And, the EST of WWE picked up the women's Royal Rumble victory eliminating Rhea Ripley.
I wouldn't mind either woman winning the match but I'm glad WWE made the decision that people have wanted ever since she showed up to the main roster months back.
That heartfelt speech from Belair after the match felt so genuine. I love seeing black excellence on my screen.
Like I said earlier, that Carmella pick was a waste but overall, this entire bout was a fun watch.
Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens For The Universal Championship In A Last Man Standing Match.
Is it really a surprise when I tell you that a last man standing involves two people beating the crap out of each other?
Owens was taken out for a bit from outta nowhere by Roman Reigns with a golf cart (I felt the pain just by seeing that).
Owen nailed a frog splash from a forklift through a table on to Roman Reigns and Reigns is somehow still up.
The big dog then speared Kevin through the LED screen.
Reigns was handcuffed on the led board and as the ref was counting till 9, Roman pushed the ref onto the wall.
The match ended with a guillotine submission from Reigns on Kevin Owens and knocked out Owens while the ref was counting.
The ref counted to 10 and that's how the tribal chief retained the championship.
I liked how Kevin Owens still had moments of a winning chance. It made Owens look like a credible opponent.
Another fantastic match between the tribal chief and the prizefighter.
The 35th Men's Royal Rumble Match.
Edge and Randy Orton started off this year's Royal Rumble match and they wasted no time to brawl.
Damn, Randy Orton has to deal with two people. Bray Wyatt and Edge.
Now is not the time to be a viper.
Carlito is back and he looked absolutely fantastic.
The Miz destroyed the DJ set up in the stage area because Bad Bunny rejected an offer from The Miz earlier in the night.
Bad Bunny showed up and after Damian Priest eliminated both Miz and Morrison, Bad Bunny did a decent looking dive onto both guys.
Kane showed up and eliminated Dolph Ziggler and Ricochet (so much for a great year for Ricochet, am I right?).
But, the big red machine was eliminated by Damian Priest so that evens out.
To put it simply, Priest is doing well so far.
Dominik Mysterio took King Corbin out of the Royal Rumble match real quick.
Speaking of "real quick", Bobby Lashley eliminated the aforementioned Dominik Mysterio and Damian Priest.
You know who's also back? Christian! Christian!
Oh, and Seth Rollins is back as well.
Edge won the Royal Rumble match for the second time.
I've seen back to back fantastic men's Rumble matches so it's disappointing to witness the latest one being painfully average.
However, I would be lying if I didn't say that I marked out for Christian.
As for the Edge win, I don't hate it but I'm waiting to see a few months from now if it's a waste of a win or not.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Bianca Belair winning the women's Royal Rumble match as well as the match itself, Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens last man standing match, Christian's in-ring return.
Didn't like: Carmella pick in the women's Royal Rumble match was a waste, a disappointing men's Rumble match.
The question is, what do you think about the 2021 edition of The Royal Rumble? Sound off in the comments below. Follow the blog for honest pro wrestling opinions as well my Twitter simply @omartheplayaguy. Anyways, stay safe smarks.
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