Shout out to NF for that absolute club BANGER of a song.
I can already hear the rage from people just because it isn't a rock song.
How was the "season premiere" of Monday Night RAW?
It was not good. As a matter of opinion, it was a baddddd show.
I can tell from watching this that Vince McMahon tore up the script AGAIN and wrote the entire thing moments before the show goes on the air.
It's like if a movie was about to start shooting only for the director to tear up the entire thing and write it from the ground up.
pictures via WWE.com
The Season Premiere Of Monday Night RAW Kicked Off With………..
Alexa Bliss calling out The Fiend, Bray Wyatt. Just as Bliss had a blank stare, Out came The Fiend.
The Fiend and Bliss were interrupted by Retribution.
Bray Wyatt and Alexa Bliss disappeared after Retribution tried to attack them.
The Hurt Business has some unfinished business with Retribution and they will settle it in an 8 man tag match that opened the show.
To put it simply, Retribution took a big fat L.
The worst part is that it was from a full Nelson submission that made T Bar tap out.
Oh, and Bray Wyatt single-handedly took out Retribution.
What is the use of portraying Retribution as some sort of a dominant faction if WWE just have them lose on a random episode of RAW?
This entire thing sucked.
AJ Styles vs Matt Riddle.
Before the match, Styles showed up with Jordan Omogbehin aka the bodyguard from RAW Underground.
By the way, Fightful select reported the pairing of Jordan and AJ Styles before the show even aired.
Support independent journalism, folks.
Just as Styles was about to spell out his name, the show cut to black that lasted seconds.
Botchamania, are you seeing this?
By the way, Jordan Omogbehin is more intimidating than Retribution.
Watch, they'll sore his momentum in a few months.
Thanks to him, he struck fear in Matthew Riddal's eyes and Styles immediately took Matt and delivered the Styles clash to win the match.
A promotional video was played about the feud between Drew McIntyre and Randy Orton days before their clash inside the structure.
Speaking of which, Drew McIntyre reminded Randy while Randy's been in many Hell In A Cell matches, Drew has been in 0.
However, Drew will go through hell to retain the WWE championship.
For a feud that desperately needed a conclusion, I do think that Drew spat out a decent promo.
Asuka vs Lana For The RAW Women's Championship.
This show is known for stretching out feuds that didn't need to.
But based on the post-match beatdown from Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler to Lana, I feel like this one is an exception just because Lana is heading to a different, more sympathetic direction.
And it kind of makes sense.
Lana had a divorce then Bobby Lashley wanted to have nothing to do with her, then her teammate, Natalya also wanted to have nothing to do with her.
Asuka won the match in case you were wondering.
Nia Jax And Shayna Baszler vs Mandy Rose And Dana Brooke vs Lacey Evans And Peyton Royce vs The Riott Squad.
The women's tag team champions issued an open challenge and that led to not one, not two but three teams to answer the challenge.
You thought WWE was going to commit to a brand split? Clearly, you've not watched WWE back in 2019.
I say this because Riott Squad and someone else later, are a Smackdown act and yet showed up on the opposite show.
So, The IIconics broke up only for Peyton Royce to go back to the women's tag team division. Okay?
The tag champs came out victorious with the Samoan drop from Nia to Lacey Evans.
Elias Concert.
This brought back memories when I used to love his segments then hated his segments like the fickle wrestling fan that I am.
I will say, this is a different concert with a band and not a solo act.
Elias sang a song called "Amen" and the production value behind this tune is actually good.
Elias was about to play another track but Jeff Hardy showed up and scared the crap out of Elias.
Elias told Chary Caruso that he'll be facing the charismatic enigma at Hell In A Cell.
So far, this is the only match that isn't taking place inside the gimmick bout.
Kofi Kingston vs Sheamus.
Sheamus, Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods had a verbal exchange before the ref rang the bell for the Kingston and Sheamus bout.
It was fine for what it was and so was the match itself. Kingston wins with the trouble in paradise.
Mustafa Ali revealed himself as the hacker in a backstage promo so that wasn't surprising.
He then called out WWE for their greed and corruption.
Yes, the same Retribution that signed a contract with the company known for their greed and corruption. Huh?
Tucker And A Mystery Partner vs The Miz And John Morrison.
Tucker revealed that the partner for the tag team match is a guy by the name of "El Gran Gordo".
And if you can't tell, it's Otis disguised as someone else.
According to Gewgle, El Gran Gordo means "the big fat".
GET IT? Because he's…….. *sigh*. This is so stupid.
The good guys won the match with a splash from El Gran Gordo to The Miz.
At least Oti…… I mean, El Gran Gordo reuni……. I mean, meets with Mandy Rose in a backstage segment.
Titus O'Neil told The Hurt Business that he wanted to join the group and the answer Titus got was a beating from all 4 members of the Hurt Business.
This tells me that MVP doesn't accept anybody into the Hurt Business. I like it.
Firefly Funhouse.
Alexa Bliss is now part of the Firefly funhouse and it honestly should've happened a lot sooner. Better late than never, right?
Keith Lee vs Braun Strowman.
This is like the Keith Lee vs Dominic Djakovic feud but WAYYY lamer.
After many DQs, Keith Lee took his first loss in the main roster with a big boot.
Then, Lee kicked Strowman right in the balls.
I get why Strowman won because he's been on the losing side as of late but why take the shine to a younger, fresher talent in Keith Lee?
I don't like this feud and the finish ain't helping me to engage in the rivalry.
Randy Orton Reflected His Memories Inside Hell In A Cell.
Randy said that he had fought with the leader of the yes movement, the world's strongest man, the man you can't see inside Hell In A Cell.
Most importantly, he fought with The Undertaker earning the deadman's respect.
Drew McIntyre showed up with a bolt cutter, broke down the steel chains that locked up the Hell In A Cell door, entered the cage and that's how the show ended.
The Randy promo was aight.
Other than that, this was probably the most random ending I've ever seen on Monday Night RAW in quite some time.
I'm not exactly sure whether I liked it or not.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: The rebooted Elias Concert, The Hurt Business/Titus O'Neil Backstage segment.
Didn't like: The burial of Retribution, the whole El Gran Gordo thing, why have Keith Lee lose of all people? Peyton Royce joining a team weeks after the IIconics were no more, not committing to a brand split.
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