Kid Brock Looking Like A Cowboy, Baby!
Massive apologizes for that headline above that is referring to a man that appreciates his "southern heritage".
This opening act was an actual weigh-in for both men. The WWE champion also weighs in on how Bob isn't walking out of the Royal as a 2-time champion because Bobby WHO!?
I enjoyed the way Paul allows Brook Laser to embrace his antics by letting the big man talk. It's actually a fresh way to spice up Heyman and Lesnar's overall chemistry.
Bianca Belair vs Queen Zelina Vega.
Why has this match lasted for more than a minute? I have no idea since Belair could've easily defeated one half of the women's tag champion with ease.
At least the EST won the match with the KOD so that does it, I guess?
Kevin Owens vs Damian Priest For The United States Championship.
Finally, some good f**king professional wrestling match!
Despite some moments of struggle from Priest, the former North American championship managed to retain the championship…….. in a DQ finish.
WWE loves their DQs more than AJ Styles based on that damn commercial almost 2 years ago.
Rhea Ripley, Dana Brooke And Liv Morgan vs Carmella, Tamina And Nikki A.S.H
Corey Graves be slandering Bryon Saxton probably because he's happy with being "blacker than Bryon" (which is really the top 3 most nonsensical things I've ever heard in my 22 years of existence).
The match was forgettable. Rhea Ripley led her team to victory which was followed by a sneak attack by Scottish Homelander? Cool, I guess.
R K The Bee: Alpha Competition.
If you can't tell already, this was a spelling bee. Disappointed that they didn't get to spell "iridocyclitis" just for the giggles but whatever.
The segment was WWE's way of showcasing one of their signature tropes, their lame sense of humour because I thought this was pretty mediocre in my opinion.
The scene led to a singles match between Randal and Chaddy which saw Pedro Pascal looking mofo hitting the RKO onto Chad Gable to win the match.
Just when I thought I was done with the BS, we're getting a scooting race scene planned for next week. F**k yes, dude! So excited.
The "if I can fix her" line was a segment" continues as Alexa Bliss talked about her history with Lily. Meh.
Austin Theory vs AJ Styles.
The match was aight. Styles hits the phenomenal forearm to prevail in this encounter.
On one hand, losing to AJ Styles isn't a bad thing. After all, he is an OG in this business, right?
On the other hand, once you found out that you lost to a flat earther, that is when your perception has lost into the deepest of the ocean.
I mean, it is laughable to state that Theory had a perception in the first place but that's a different story.
Doudrop, like me, is sick of the Beckys out there by trying to beat the hell out of the RAW women's champion that is named Becky Lynch. Now that's what you call a white ally! Keep it up.
The Street Profits vs Rey And Dominik Mysterio.
A decent tag team bout. The win from the Mysterios led to everybody pretending that it's the Royal Rumble match. Cool.
Seth Rollins is like, "imma show up this Friday on Smackdown". I mean, I too want to leave Monday Night RAW (out of my consciousness for most weeks).
And the final segment of the evening goes to Edge and his wife, Beth Phoenix, tearing up Miz's celebration with Maryse. It's not bad but that's being said, I still don't care about any of this.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: The opening segment, Kevin Owens vs Damian Priest
Didn't like: SHUT THE F**K UP, COREY, The spelling bee segment.