How was Monday Night RAHHHHHH this week? It's the same old, "it's not great but better than last week".
Seth Rollins Was Like, "MY Wrestlemania Loss Against Cody Rhodes Was A Fluke."
Why? Because according to the man himself, Drippy Jesus wasn't prepared for a big comeback match so he proposed a rematch against the white savior in nature, Cody Rhodes on this very show and Cody responded with, "Yessir. Imma finna beat you a** my G".
The match didn't happen (a good decision on their end) so instead, Cody faced Kevin Owens (because Seth later pulled out of the match) and the bout itself ended via a count-out due to the fact that Owens basically said, "F it. I'm out."
Ever since Rollins lost against Cody, I knew we were getting a rematch. I just didn't expect Seth to portray as somewhat of a heel rather than a full-fledged one, ya know.
It's still the only feud that's worthy of my interest going into the Backlash of Wrestlemania.
Veer Mahaan Squashed A Guy Because He's The Indian Gigachad.
I agree, headline.
Bianca Belair Almost Took Out Sonya Deville After Deville's In-Ring Promo.
Miss Susan Deville over here picking on yet another black woman. First, it's Naomi then it's Ronda Rousey and now, Bianca Belair.
Belair didn't do the right thing in delivering the KOD to Susan.
The champ then had to pay a fine aka a dollar. Some might say that they wish they were a baller or a bit taller but I wish my fine bills were smaller.
Rhea Ripley Turns To The Dark Side Once Again.
And no. She hasn't done anything heinous that's going to be told in a documentary but rather Ripley turned heel by attacking her partner Liv Morgan and honestly, it was the right move.
God knows WWE needs a top heel for the women's division on RAW with Big time Bex being gone for a bit.
Turns Out Ezekiel Isn't Elias According To A Lie Detector.
Ever since that Mr America lie detector segment happened, I haven't looked at lie detectors the same way anymore.
Kevin Owens walked out of frustration to which Chad Gable (the man responsible for the "top of the line" lie detection system) attacked Ezekiel *Micheal Cole's voice* from behind.
You know who's making this entire arc work? Kevin Owens. It's because of him that I'm kinda invested in this.
This one simple narrative of "is Ezekiel Elias or not" is what makes that storyline surprisingly intriguing.
That led to a match between Ezekiel and Chad Gable and it ended via a DQ thanks to an assault on Ezekiel by Otis.
Is it just me or is it that it feels like Otis is part of the WWE roster and not part of the roster at the same time? Just me? Okay.
RKBRO vs The Street Profits.
A decent match for what it was. The profits of the darn streets picked up the victory over the tag team champs which means probably a triple threat match for the unified tag team championship (no sh*t, Omar).
Edge And Damian Priest Wanted To Further Make AJ Styles' Life A Living Hell.
A reminder that the duo of Edge and Damian Priest is fantastic and already better and somewhat fearful than whatever the hell The Coore was.
Theory vs Finn Balor For The United States Championship.
Yes, people. The name is Theory. Theory why would WWE do that the second.
The man without a first name picked up the United States championship for the very first time and like Ripley's heel turn, it was the sensible decision given that the man is in the middle of a push right now.
Unfortunately for Balor. The dude's going to be the same Balor since 2017. All smiles with a demon inside.
And the final segment of this week's Monday Night RAW (before Omos challenged Bobby Lashley to an arm-wrestling match in a backstage segment) was a wedding segment that involved the 24/7 championship crew between Akira Tozawa and his bride in Tamina as well as Dana Brooke and her man, Reggie.
And guess what, it ended in a disaster with all 3 people involved winning the ugly green belt (Tozawa, Tamina and Reggie) until Dana won that title back. Coolinos.
So, to recap for all of you slow mofos.
Like: Kevin Owens and the Ezekiel character intrigue, Rhea Ripley's heel turn, reminder that Edge and Damian Priest are cool, Gigachad Veer Mahaan.
Didn't like: I guess the wedding segment?